Page 1 - Tales

Boys will be Buoys
chapter 1

'Old Ken' relaxed and leaned back smiling. His hands were on the controls of his beloved cabin
cruiser. This was his favorite time of the week. A chance to take a relaxed trip around this fantastic lake
with its paddling wildlife and beautiful scenery. As he gently pulled away from the jetty the yacht skippers
off to his right were preparing for their Sunday morning race. They listened, with glazed looks in their eyes
as 'Young Ken' (the Boss) gave very detailed directions of the course route for that day.

Soon there was the usual sound of sails being tweaked and booms being carefully adjusted. To
any outsider, it must have looked as if they all knew what they were doing! The comical banter followed by
deep breathing exercises was their way of coping with challenges ahead. They loved racing and on this
Sunday the weather was perfect and the wind direction suited the course layout, it promised to be a great
day......Six sleek craft slid away heading for the start buoys. After a couple of minutes the countdown
started and they were off, heading for the first buoy. Having spotted some dirt on the water 'Rick (The Pleb)
Jones immediately retired from the race and plucked his shiny new yacht from the lake, polished it lovingly
then put it back into his equally polished car!

In the mean time 'Old Ken' was circling on the far side of the lake, his eyes slowly fluttered and
closed then slowly his fingers slipped from the transmitter on his lap. The cruiser, as if with a mind of its
own, suddenly shot off towards the yacht course. Now peacefully asleep in his comfy chair Ken was totally
unaware of what was about to happen.........

Yachts began colliding with each other whilst trying to avoid the feral boat. Booms and rigging got
tangled locking two of the boats together. One grounded on the sandbank and the others ran for cover
trying, unsuccessfully, to avoid the overhanging trees. Galvanized into action by shouts, cursing and it must
be said a little whimpering from the traumatised yacht skippers, Bill 'Wet Willy' leapt to the rescue. He
grabbed 'Old Ken's' transmitter and steered the cruiser back. After carefully lifting it out of the water he put
it on the bank and woke 'Old Ken' who seemed quite surprised by all the fuss. 'Rick Pleb' just smiled and
glanced towards his nice clean yacht which was safe in his nice clean car!!

This and other crazy incidents seem to repeat on a regular basis in our Club but thankfully we don't
seem to learn. A few members have even earn nick names. That wonderful Welsh tradition of replace
surnames with the person's claim to fame. Like the village, Policeman up in the Valleys who was known as
'Dai Book and Pencil'.

One of our first was John 'Splash'. He went to great lengths to point out to us one morning that as
the water level of the lake had risen above the path it was difficult to see the edge, so we should all be very,
very careful. Seconds later, as if to demonstrate his deep concern for our safety, he stepped over the very
same edge and plunged head first into the water, quite spectacular really!

Then, just recently, 'Bill Wet Willy' earned his nickname. The same bit of path was flooded and with
boat in hand he walked forward straight over the edge and disappeared under the water. Geoff and Rick
were only a couple of feet away on the dry bank. Rick grabbed Geoff’s arm. “Quick mate, do something!”
Geoff’s years of military service and swift reaction paid off. He whipped out his mobile phone and captured
a rather brilliant shot of Bill 'Wet Willy' being dragged from the water by Les. Despite all this Bill emptied his
wellies, got dried off and joined us at 'Georgie’s Cafe' for our usual Thursday fry-up. We had a great laugh
re-living the morning and along with other customers watched in amazement as the cafe windows gradually
steamed up.

Stay tuned for chapter 2

'Rick Pleb' Park Liaison English B-----d

January 2016