Page 89 - English for Writing Research Papers

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original version (ov) revised version (rv)
Using the method described Using the method described by Peters et al. (2010),
by Peters et al. (2010), we we assessed the state of pollution of three sites in
assessed the state of pollution a coastal area. This area is characterized by high
of three sites in a coastal area levels of agricultural, industrial and tourist activity,
[which was] characterized by as well as occasional volcanic activity (the last
high levels of agricultural, major eruption was in 1997).
industrial and tourist activity,
as well as occasional volcanic
activity (the last major eruption
was in 1997).
Using the approach described Using the approach described by Smith and Jones
by Smith and Jones (2011), (2011), a distinction , was made between the three
a distinction , [which was] useful types of pollution: agriculture, industry and tourism.

for analysis purposes, particularly This distinction was useful for analysis purposes,
in the final stages of the project, particularly in the final stages of the project.

was made between the three
types of pollution: agriculture,
industry and tourism.

4.11 Avoid the – ing form to link phrases together

Another way writers typically link phrases together is to use the – ing form of a
verb. If using the – ing form will signifi cantly add to the length of a sentence, you
can use another form of the verb and begin a new sentence.

original version (ov) revised version (rv)
Using automatic translation Using automatic translation software (e.g. Google
software (e.g. Google Translate, Translate, Babelfish, and Systran) can considerably

Babelfi sh, and Systran) can ease the work of researchers when they need to
considerably ease the work of translate documents. Such software saves them
researchers when they need to money, for example the fee they might have otherwise
translate documents thus saving them had to pay to a professional translator. It also
money (for example the fee they increases the amount of time they have to spend
might have otherwise had to pay in the laboratory rather than at the PC.
to a professional translator) and
increasing the amount of time
they have to spend in the laboratory
rather than at the PC.

The RV above shows two ways to deal with the – ing form. First, you can repeat the
subject ( software ) and then change the -ing form into the present tense ( saves,
increases rather than saving, increasing ), or whatever tense is appropriate.