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Chaplain's Corner

Confronting our mortality

BY RABBI BARRY COHEN
During the High Holidays, we are supposed to
confront our mortality. The challenge is doing so
Published biweekly by in a tactful, healthy way. Observing Rosh Hasha-
Jewish Federation of nah and Yom Kippur is a way of performing time
Greater Portland travel. We go back to our childhood and recall the Rabbi Barry
9900 SW Greenburg Road, sights, sounds and tastes, whether in synagogue Cohen is
Suite 220 or at home. We reflect on the year that was, cele- the Jewish
Tigard, OR 97223 brate and self-critique. We look to the future and community
consider our hopes, dreams and expectations. We
503-245-6219 remember loved ones who have died and face chaplain of
JewishPortland.org the harsh reality that, one day, family will light the Greater
Portland area.
a yahrzeit candle for us to consecrate our death.
Editor A recent trip to Houston to see my mom, sib- sun recede and seagulls fly low; I smelled the
Deborah Moon lings, nieces, nephews and cousins forced me to bonfires people had lit to stay warm; I felt the
editor@jewishportland.org confront my mortality. My mom has begun to cool breeze on my face.
503-892-7404 (message) decline; she has lost much strength and vitality This reminded me of an excerpt from the book,
in the past five years. Though it was bittersweet Tuesdays with
Circulation to spend time with her and my two teenage chil- Morrie, written
To receive the Jewish dren, I have no regrets. She still has plenty of by Mitch Albom.
Review in your email inbox, stories to share. There was laughter along with He documented a
email your name and email joy and hugs. series of meetings
address to In addition, I had to update my medical Power he had with his
editor@jewishportland.org of Attorney during the visit. I did not enjoy revis- Brandeis professor,
ing the document that will ensure I receive the who was dying of
quality of care I want to receive, but I had to go ALS, Lou Gehrig’s
OPINIONS printed in the through the exercise. Disease. I share one
Jewish Review do not This visit painfully reminded me that I have excerpt from the
necessarily reflect those crossed over a threshold. I have fewer years book, appropriate
of the Jewish Review ahead of me than I have behind me. Coupling this for this time of the
Committee, the Jewish with the fact that, as community chaplain, I con- year as we confront
Federation of Greater sistently work with those who are ill or dying has our mortality.
Portland, its governing been emotionally trying during the past weeks.
board or the staffs of either At times, I have felt as if I am in an emotional “I heard a nice story the other day,” Morrie
the newspaper or the fog. I also feel as if time is in fast-forward. I keep says. “…The story is about a little wave, bobbing
Federation. looking for the brakes but fail to find them. along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He’s
As the High Holidays draw close, more memo- enjoying the wind and the fresh air – until he no-
ries return. Sometimes it is overwhelming. I have tices the other waves in front of him, crashing
Upcoming been experiencing chaotic time travel, re-experi- against the shore.”
issues encing everything from childhood to COVID-19. “ ‘My God, this is terrible,’ the wave says.
This year, I will continue my time travel with ‘Look what’s going to happen to me!’ ”
Issue date Deadline my teenagers. In our own way, we will remember “Then along comes another wave. It sees the
what the High Holiday experience was, is and first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, ‘Why
will be. When the time comes to light yahrzeit do you look so sad?’ ”
candles at home in memory of my dad, my wife’s “The first wave says, ‘You don’t understand!
Sept. 15 Sept. 9 mom and my wife, I hope we will be able to share We’re all going to crash! All of us waves are go-
memories to keep their legacy alive. And I hope ing to be nothing! Isn’t it terrible?’ ”
Sept. 30 Sept. 23 I will not dwell on the inevitability that, one day, “The second wave says, ‘No, you don’t un-
(Thursday) they will light a candle for me. derstand. You’re not a wave, you’re part of the
I expect these High Holidays will be a positive ocean.’ ”
Oct. 13 Oct. 7 experience, for the sake of my emotional health “Part of the ocean,” (Morrie) says, “part of the
and the emotional health of my children. I hope ocean.”
Oct. 27 Oct. 21 we achieve a sense of emotional and psychologi- I watch him breathe, in and out, in and out (pp.
cal stability and balance. 179-180).
A couple of weeks ago, I had a chance to of-
Submit news, photos ficiate at an early morning wedding at Cannon As we experience the High Holidays, let’s sim-
and obituaries to Beach. The day before, at sunset, I walked along ply keep breathing. And let’s celebrate the real-
the shore. I did my best to be in the moment: I ization that we are part of something infinitely
editor@jewishportland.org heard the crashing of the waves; I watched the greater than ourselves.

12 Jewish Review Sept. 1, 2021