Page 17 - Ohio Family Magazine Aug13

Nurturing Your

Empty Nest

by Anne Uemura, Ph.D.

f you have spent years guiding and preparing your children toward
Iindependence you might expect a sense of freedom and accomplish-
ment when they leave home. You can acknowledge that some impor-
tant work is done as your children move onto college, marriage or a
life of their own. Yet many “empty nest” parents, mothers especially,
are left feeling adrift, abandoned and lonely. yourself. For example, try yoga and meditation to help lower your
This doesn’t have to be the case. By knowing how to deal with the stress, improve your sleep and enjoy peaceful moments with your
unexpected emotions of the “empty nest” syndrome, you can trans- self.
form this transition into one of the most meaningful times of your life. • Take control of your finances. If this has always eluded you or
“Empty Nest” Emotions been your husband’s job, now is the time to harness your energy and
Empty nesters are likely to feel torn in different directions. While learn a new competence. Start with books or classes as needed.
58% of empty nesters claim they are ready for the kids to fly the coop, • Try a new hobby or class. This is the prime time to discover hid-
those numbers are significantly less for women (55%), than for men den talents and explore interests.
(70%). On the one hand they have more time and freedom to do the • Find meaningful work. Many empty nesters find this is the best
things they wanted since before having children. Yet many women time to start a brand new career.
who have focused all their time and energy on raising their families Midlife is an exciting and pivotal stage in your life. Accept that you
may have no idea what they want now, some 20 or so years later. may have some raw or confused emotions and that this is normal. If
Another issue that makes it difficult to sail on a breeze into these you experience symptoms of depression and your sadness doesn’t go
years of freedom is that many women are burdened with other chal- away you should consult a professional. Otherwise, recognize that
lenges. Some face other difficulties such as divorce, moving, meno- your empty nest may be one of the greatest gifts your children can
pause, or care of aged parents at the same time the nest is emptying. offer you.
For example, 40% of empty nesters expect that their children will Anne Uemura has over 25 years of practice with individual women and groups. She
move back in with them and 30% anticipate having their parent move is licensed as a psychologist, and has certification as a coach and Brennan healing
in with them. science practitioner.
Filling the Empty Nest
Whatever situation accompanies your “empty nest” experience
there are steps you can take to make this transition easier and life
enhancing. First, look at this change for its tremendous opportunities.
Many women have chosen to concentrate on their work and have ex-
plored new careers. Many women take this time to explore their own
wants, needs, and desires for the first time ever.
After dealing with this transition, women at this age generally re-
port feeling more confident than in their younger years. By embrac-
ing this opportunity to pay attention to your own financial, physical,
emotional and professional needs, the empty nest stage could lead to
the most fulfilling stage of your life.
The Empty Nest: A Time to Turn Inward
A great place to start on this new journey is to learn to listen to your
body. What changes must you make in areas like nutrition, fitness and
stress management?
Another important focus is learning to listen to your heart. For years
women have been taught that it is selfish to take care of or focus on
you. Since women tend to be nurturers by nature it is easy to fall
into the trap of focusing all your energy on those you love. It’s time
to heed this lesson: by neglecting your own physical, spiritual and
emotional needs you limit your ability to be there for anyone. Do you
remember the fatigue and irritability brought on by running yourself
ragged for your family? Now is the time to treat your self as well as
you treated them.
Your emotions may be up and down due to lack of direction, loss of
routine, hormonal changes or other life events. Here are other sugges-
tions to help you get the most out of your empty nest experience.
• Listen to your emotions so you will know what you need and
want. For this you may need to commit to spending time alone or writ-
ing in a journal.
• Experiment with new experiences so you can learn more about
www.ohiofamilymagazine.com August 2013 • OFM 17