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Vulnerable Hastings women… the word on the street LIZZIE MAY REPORTS

Many of the women from our richly Rebuilding lives Sarah Larkin: ‘we
diverse local community will become One Woman’s Story Refuge supports almost 5,000 clients every day decided to do
something’
vulnerable at some time during their Refuge client Isobel was supported – women, children and, increasingly, men. It Photo: Tom Smith
lives. And the number of ‘vulnerable by a one of their outreach workers helps them to escape and recover from violence
women’ is increasing, right here on and shares her personal story. and abuse, so that they can rebuild their lives.
our doorstep. The National Domestic Helpline, run jointly
(All names have been changed to
What does being ‘vulnerable’ really mean? preserve identities) with Women’s Aid, offers a 24/7 confidential
Basically, women who are facing, often in When I met my ex-husband, I had my service on 0808 2000 247 (https://www.refuge.
silence, all kinds of violence, abuse, hardship own business, my own flat, supportive org.uk)
or controlling behaviour, putting them at friends and family. I was confident and
great risk. self-assured and independent. Domestic Making a difference
One in four women in this country The weekly Safehaven Women’s drop-
‘We’ve will be affected at some point, violence was not something I ever thought in at Holy Trinity Hastings (HTH) is an
laughed according to Refuge, a leading would happen to me. example of the church community in
He was controlling from the beginning.
together, cried national charity. Women can be left I was constantly walking on eggshells. Hastings working and making a real
extremely scared and isolated, with
difference.
together’ very low self-esteem. I was undermined and humiliated. But Sarah Larkin, its co-ordinator, talked to
whenever I tried to leave, he would reel
The good news is that there is a me back in, telling me that he would Grapevine about it.
wealth of support services and advice at change and that he wanted us to be a It started with a small group of women
hand to help them. family. When I first visited Hastings, a number of from HTH who were keen to help. We reached
Refuge offers specialist vital support One day a normal conversation women were hanging around the church steps. out to women on the streets and opened our
to women, and increasingly men too, suddenly turned into a frenzied attack. He We decided to do something about it and doors. >
The team of recognising that domestic violence takes punched me to the ground, kicked me in Safehaven Women was born.
volunteers ready to and ruins lives. It kills two women a week in
greet the visiting the back, and then threw me across the
women when they England and Wales. room – all in front of our two children. 1 Christchurch Courtyard
London Road
arrive for Safehaven Modern technology has also given St. Leonards on Sea
in Hastings at 12.30 perpetrators ever-growing ways to control, I called the police, and eventually they put TN37 6GL
on a Thursday me in touch with Refuge. www.themagnetcentre.co.uk
Photo: Kuniko Kamioka isolate, humiliate and dominate women.
One of Refuge’s outreach workers, The magnet is a conference centre which offers first
Anna, began supporting me. We talked rate flexible meeting space and training facilities
about everything I had been through and
she helped me to understand that Ben’s The magnet offers six
behaviour was a deliberate pattern of Battle, East Sussex, TN33 9NF comfortable and well appointed
control. It was not my fault. meeting rooms, the smallest
I can honestly say that nobody in my Set in 220 acres of beautiful grounds takes 8 the largest 120
life has done more for me than Anna. and gardens, Ashburnham Place There is also a small kitchen
Together, we made a plan to keep me and is a Christian conference, retreat
the children safe. and event centre. Bookings include the use of
She held my hand, sometimes literally, flipcharts, whiteboards,
through divorce proceedings and child • The Orangery Tea Room digital projector, WiFi
access, tea & coffee
contact battles. She gave me the language • Be The Word Bookshop (supply own milk) at no
I needed to describe what I had been extra cost
through. It’s like she gave me a secure • Prayer Centre
base, from which I could begin to rebuild For more information, please go to
my life. www.ashburnham.org.uk
Now things are so much better. It isn’t or call
easy to break away from a violent partner; For more details, to arrange a visit or make a booking please
I don’t think I could have done it without 01424 892244 visit our website, or call us on 01424 431489 (answerphone)
Refuge’s support. Refuge saved my life.” Email: info.themagnet@gmail.com

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