Page 81 - Heat_UK__30_December_2017

The Unmissables

PREDICTION 1 Hero in a
half hat
TheGoldenGirls reboot
Freshonthebackofreboots of classic TV comediesWill&
Grace,Roseanneand,we mustn’t forget, Birds OfAFeather,
Netflixjumpsonthenostalgia bandwagon and commissions
a revival of classic ’80s series The Golden Girls. Sadly,only
Betty White (Rose) from the original cast is still alive,butthe
producers will use CGI technology to recreate herbuddies
Blanche, Sophia and Dorothy.

Boyd’s

RYSTAL
BALL

y (Not Entirely Serious)
V Predictions for 2017
PREDICTION 2
Marvel’sAgentsmeetThe
DefendersandInhumans
TakinginspofromallthoseMarvelensembleshows
that are way too complicated to keep track of, they
decide to merge them all together in a new 52-part
series called Marvel’s Inhuman Defender Agents
Of SHIELD showing on 5*. No one watches it all.

Sophia’s face #81
says it all

PREDICTION 3
Be afraid.
Very afraid Channel5goes back to the Borderline
Followingonfromthefirst two series of one of its very few
scriptedcomedies,Channel 5 will commission a third run of its
airport-setsitcomBorderline, and will give it the plum Sunday “Nothing over
night 2am slot, when it will air all four-and-a-half episodes in 100ml – you
hear me?”
one go, with a simulcast on obscure digital portal 5-Whatever.

PREDICTION 5 PREDICTION 6
PiersMorgan’s KrankiesOnCrack
TransgenderHell LeadingonfromGordon Ramsay On
Asarewardforhismyriad CocaineandITV’spensioners-take-
rants about how trans people drugsseriesGoneToPot, they
can “identify as a giraffe if they commission a new series in which
PREDICTION 4 want” and stuff, ITV creates Janette and Ian Krankie (both now
a special weekly feature for 70) tour the crack dens of
Clarkson,Hammond Piers on Good Morning America’s inner cities.
&May:TheAlbum Britain, in which he Rumours that
Hotontheheelsofhitalbums by ageing sits there thumbing To Me ToYou:
TV blokes like Nick Knowles and Bradley through the papers The Chuckle
Walsh, the ultimate gang of ageing TV getting confused BrothersOn
blokes – Jezza Clarkson, James May and annoyed Ecstasy will
and Richard Hammond – will release about the follow later
their own collection of cover versions world and in the year
of car-based songs, including Driving In people who are yet tobe
My Car by Madness and The Cars’ Drive. are different “I’m a toaster confirmed.
It goes to No1 and stays there forever. to him. today!”

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