Page 19 - 1909 November - To Dragma

14 TO DRAGMA OF ALPHA OMICRON PI

ness and confidence would be better not only for the fraternities,
but also for the freshmen themselves. How can they see what we
really are like in our normal state, when we "play up" to them so?
Would you be willing to choose for your close personal friend some
girl who liked you only because you gave more and better parties
than someone else? Why imply that the girls you are to make your
sisters, will be governed by such a motive?

Somewhere between the high condescension by which some fra-
ternities make themselves ridiculous, and the eager courtings by
which others achieve the same end, lies a calm, quiet, natural table-
land, where we say, "Here we are. Thus we are. We like you. I f
you like us, let us know each other better, to see whether we may
learn to love." Why is it a necessary implication that every
friendship a fraternity member makes with a freshman means a
probable invitation? Why cannot we be ourselves and refuse to per-
mit the fraternity,—the very influence that broadens us in so many
ways—to make us narrow and self-conscious in learning to know
girls who attract us? This over-self-consciousness defeats its own
ends, for the more we meet new friends as persons, not as probable
fraternity members, the better we shall know them when it comes
to choosing them for the fraternity. The self-conscious attitude
keeps us, too, constantly choosing to know girls too much like our
fraternity sisters, and that prevents the chapter from growing varied
and many-sided, with new blood and fresh ideas.

A few paragraphs ago, I said that there were many unattached
juniors and seniors who were longed for by the regretful fraternities.
You all know that to be true. Why regret? Why not remedy? Of
all the foolish traditions that cling so easily round us, tangling our
steps, there are few more foolish than the notion that it is "poor
policy" to take an upper-classman, however we may admire her.
Why "poor policy"? " I t may look" is the usual answer, "as i f we
took what the others left."

Well, i f the others overlooked, and i f you overlooked for one,
two or three years, a girl who is desirable,—is she the less desirable
for that? Because no one else was wise enough to see merits, that
are plain to you, must you act as i f you were blind? Must the other
fraternities indicate the girls that are fit for you; or are you inde-
pendent enough to choose them for yourselves? I f you have made a
mistake in the past, rectify it now. I f a girl has developed late,
be glad to accept her when she has developed. I f you have not
known her earlier, the only shame in that is that you are ashamed
to make up for it now. I f other fraternities do not like her as well
as you do, what is that to you? Some of the finest and most useful
members of Alpha Omicron Pi,—the superlatives are carefully