Page 39 - 2015 Summer - To Dragma

addicting, and the facial treatment did get rid of most
of my blackheads. So I simply slumped my shoulders in
defeat, took a sip of my wine, and settled in to see which to me that ALAM is not, in fact, a term that is useful for
eccentric lovebirds Patti was fixing up next.
She will “need” new stuff for every trip.
As if women need more excuses to buy new things.
One would think that constant traveling would inspire
a person to attempt to cut down on existing clothes and
accessories for the sake of convenience, but, alas, I am a the amount of work that both collegians and staff invest
silly man. A quick trip to a northern state in wintertime
was met with the preparation usually reserved for a year
long excursion into the Arctic Circle. Three pairs of ear
muffs, two winter coats, and a pair of fur-lined boots
later, and I was starting to think we were getting ready
for the next Ice Age.
This always made for exciting experiences when I
dropped Addie off at the airport after visiting me. Her
handbag and backpack were overflowing with random
items that couldn’t fit in her two giant suitcases, which
were precariously close to tipping the scales over 50
lbs and drawing over-sized baggage charges. You
could barely see 5’2” Addie amongst the luggage, and
I often feared that a sudden breeze or extra-powerful
air conditioning burst might make the whole Addie-
luggage complex come tumbling down. Luckily, I
am proud to say that Addie survived her entire stint as
an ELC without procuring any excess charges at the
airport concierge, and she seems to be mostly intact,
albeit potential back issues down the road.
She will speak a different language.
Eventually I figured out most of sorority-speak, but
not without a few bumps in the road. For instance,
occasionally I would peek over Addie’s shoulder to see
what she was doing, and it was almost always sending
and replying to AOII-related emails. I noticed that
oftentimes these emails would include an abbreviation
as a sort of closing remark: ALAM. Sorority girls in
college always seemed to be hip with the newest trends,
so I just assumed that this was a fresh acronym that all
the cool kids were using, maybe something patriotic
like “America, Liberty and Majesty” (you have to
admit, that’s kind of awesome). So, naturally, I began
using it in my own emails. Sending a message to the
scheduling guy at work? I was throwing an “ALAM” at
the end. Writing a braggadocious email about my recent
fantasy football success to the guys in my league? It
Issue no. 3 • Summer 2015
would get an “ALAM” too. It wasn’t until Addie caught
wind of this trend about a week later that she mentioned
the general public. Thank you, Addie--a lesser woman
may have let that go on much longer.
She will prove that AOIIs are definitely
one tough bunch.
Throughout this past year, I have been blown away by
to make chapters run smoothly. One particular scenario
stands out where everyone involved had to come
together and persevere amongst difficult circumstances:
Addie was in the midst of recruitment at a certain
chapter and I hadn’t heard from her all day. I figured she
was just really busy, but thought I would give her a call
just to see how everything was going. She answered the
phone and mentioned that it had been a bit of a tough
day. As a proud and occasionally pig-headed man, I
thought “Ha! How hard can it be?” Boy, was I wrong.
The apocalyptic scene that she proceeded to describe
at the sorority house made me recoil from the phone
in horror. Apparently, in the midst of recruitment
during a 100-degree, humid, southern summer day,
the air conditioning had broken in the chapter house.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, the majority of the house
had come down with a stomach bug and plumbing
problems meant the water was being shut on and off.
The thought of having to continue with one of the
most important events of the year in the midst of the
appalling combination of sickness and brutal heat, all
while attempting to represent AOII well to potential
new members, almost made me get sick with sympathy.
I couldn’t even go for a midday jog in full health--how
were they doing this?!
It turns out, they were able to pull through and turn a
terrible situation into one of their best recruitments in
recent memory. Final lesson--don’t mess with AOIIs!
Most of all, I have come to know AOII as an
organization dedicated to friendship, hard work, and
changing women’s lives for the better. I am happy that
Addie was blessed with the experiences that she gained
during her year as an ELC, and I have come to consider
myself a de-facto AOII member - just please don’t ask
me to pay dues!
To Dragma • 39