Page 25 - To Dragma May 1934
P. 25
To DRAGMAI MA
Gracic—Oh, George, do you have a kid sister? I s she That I would have to put on an act. P
much older than you? I ' l l bet she's awful smart H e said, "Sing or dance or out you go!" P
and flunks every exam. Y o u know, I think a col- I ' l l struggle through both for a job, you know.
lege education is wonderful; don't you think so, (Sings ''Fraternity Blues" and tap dances.) I
George? i-
Then follows a routine, " A l l of U s , " done to the
George—I think sol tune of " A l l of Me." A group of four girls repre-
Gracie—It teaches you all kinds of nice things. F o r senting freshmen are sitting on the floor dressed in
instance, my girl friend's sister goes to college, and white and wearing the freshman arm-band. I n their
her boy friend learned to play football there. midst on a chair sits a girl representing the spirit of
Alpha Epsilon Phi.
George—And he still doesn't know how.
Gracie—Yes, that's the idea. O h , George, you're so
smart!
George—But, Gracic, that isn't what a college educa- Chorus of Four Girls sings to the tune of "All of
tion's for! Here's the point of this letter. My sister Me"—
wants to go sorority. All of us, why not take all of us?
Graci-e—Oh, George, I wouldn't let her do that. It's Can't you see, we can't live without you?
so depressing. Take our clubs, we'll never miss them;
George—Gracie. I think you're so dumb you don't Take our pins, we'll never need them!
know what I'm talking about. Just say, "Yes," and make us real happy.
Gracie—Oh, George, I ' l l bet you say that to all the You've got our hearts and heads all upset.
girls! So why not take all of us?
George—A sorority, Gracie, is a girls' fraternity. First Girl (spoken)—
Gracie—Oh, a place where all the boys can come and
park! (Lauglxs) a sparking place! I like you; I like your scholarship;
Y o u rate high up there on the campus.
George—Gracie, why don't you put your head in a
bucket of water and hold it there for ten minutes?
Gracie—Gee, George, there you go! Second Girl—
George—These friends of my sister all belong to one You're admired for your activities,
Cups galore and honorary mention.
club, Gracie; and she's asking me if she should
join if she get's the chance. A sorority, you know, Third Girl—
Y o u know the joys of companionship
Gracie—Oh, I know! It's a bunch of girls who live And the camaraderie of true friends.
together and do their own cooking: they have long Fourth Girl—
hair and don't wear any clothes and take sun baths. You're my ideal; I always will feel
That makes me think of Christmas. Jingle bells, That you are my everything.
jingle bells, jingle all the way—
George—Gracie, Gracie, this isn't a nudist cult, but Leader—
a bunch of girls attracted by the same things, hav- Yes, my dears; now that I've heard your pleas,
ing mutual friends and— I can see you can't live without me.
Gracie—Oh, I know, George! "My country 'tis of Keep your clubs, you needn't miss them;
thee!" Keep your pins, I ' l l never need them.
George—Gnicie. pay attention to what I'm sayinc! I'll say, "Yes," and I ' l l say that you're O . K .
My kid sister likes these girls, likes what they do, I'll say, "Yes," and make you all happy.
likes their standing, and so I'm writing her to I want your hearts to be part of me;
join— So I will take all of you.
Gracie—Oh, George, just think she'll be able to sport (Exeunt)
a raccoon coat and wear mums. George, did you
ever have mumps? M y sister's baby had them, and Master of Ceremonies—
A cabaret marriage with a wedding ring
did he look funny! H a s a service in which the principals sing.
George—I knew it was a mistake to mention this to The bride is ready and so iB the groom; Jfl
you. I ' l l settle it myself. Goodbye, and if you
happen to break your neck on your way home, I ' l l Strike up the wedding march! Sound their doom!
send flowers Parson, an austere person, enters dancing and un/js
Master of Ceremonies— the following to the tunc of "Hello, Baby"—
Two little girls dressed in green. Hello, people, how do you do?
"Cigarettes, cigars!" That's what they scream. Hello, people, talking to you!
But they can do lots more than sell. This excitement makes me rave!
Do you call my bluff? Okay—swell! Hello, people, why are you here?
Sit up and take notice. W e won't delay! Hello, people, don't shed a tear.
Two little cigarette girls that are okay. Gosh, this couple surely is brave.
They're crazy, I ' l l say, to get married now;
Just wait one year, folks, and you'll say,
Cigarette Girls enter and say the following before "Boy and how!" I tell you:
dancing— (They dance.) "C'mon, people, let's celebrate;
W e are the cigarette girls. C'mon, people, don't hesitate;
Your smokes we sell. They'll soon come and then we'll have our fun. n
Raleighs, Old Golds, Camels!
But it's Luckies we yell I
Master of Ceremonies— Usher dances in and sings the following—
Introducing the personnel of our cabaret. How do you do, Parson Jones, how no you do?
We present the hat check girls, and can they sway! I s there anything that we can do for you?
I'll wager that after they get out here and start. We'll do everything we can, stand by you to a man.
Instead of your hat, you'll be checking your heart. How do you do, Parson Jones, how do you do?
One Usher sings to the tune of "Three's A Crowd"—
I love her, and so does he.
Hat Check Girls enter and say the following before She's in love, but not with me.
dancing—
W e are the hat girls of this cabaret. I know two is company but three's a crowd.
I gave rings and jewels to you;
I am Rose, I am Ruth, I am P e a r l , and I'm May. He gave nothing, that is true. .
(the above line spoken individually)
Y o u r hat please and just a dime Here I stand, what can I do, for three's a crowd.
Never tried to hang around someone else's clover-
To thank us for our work and time. Happiness for two you've found, and I ' m the » n e
(They dance.) left over.
W e can still be friends, you say;
Master of Ceremonies (spoken)— Yet I wouldn't care to stay. ,„
Now the Master of Ceremonies by the middle of
the show I would just be in the way, cause three's a crowd.
Becomes an awful bore, that I know. Bridesmaids enter singing the following to the tnnf
H e talks and talks just to take up time of "Let's Put Out the Lights"—
And says the dumbest things to make a rhyme. Girls, oh girls, did you see?
Now to make things worse, the boss just made a
crack [ C O N T I N U E D ON P A C E 7 6 ]
