Page 121 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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SHERLOCK: You wash your hair. There’s a difference. No-no – tinted eyelashes; clear signs of
taurine cream around the frown lines; those tired clubber’s eyes. Then there’s his underwear.
MOLLY: His underwear?
SHERLOCK: Visible above the waistline – very visible; very particular brand.
(He reaches for the metal dish.)
SHERLOCK: That, plus the extremely suggestive fact that he just left his number under this dish
here ... (he shows her the card that Jim left under the dish) ... and I’d say you’d better break it
off now and save yourself the pain.
(Molly stares at him for a moment, then turns and runs out of the room. Sherlock looks startled
by her reaction.)
JOHN: Charming. Well done.
SHERLOCK: Just saving her time. Isn’t that kinder?
JOHN: “Kinder”? No, no, Sherlock. That wasn’t kind.
(Looking fed up with the conversation, Sherlock puts down Jim’s card and then reaches over
and moves one of the trainers on the desk closer to John.)
SHERLOCK: Go on, then.
JOHN: Mmm?
SHERLOCK: You know what I do. Off you go.
(He sits back and folds his arms expectantly. John makes incoherent negative noises and looks
at his watch.)
JOHN: No.
SHERLOCK: Go on.
JOHN: I’m not gonna stand here so you can humiliate me while I try and disseminate ...
SHERLOCK (interrupting): An outside eye, a second opinion. It’s very useful to me.
JOHN: Yeah, right(!)
SHERLOCK: Really.
(John turns back to him and the two of them have intense eyesex for several seconds.
Eventually John nods unhappily because eyesex is all he’s going to get for the time being.)
JOHN: Fine.
(Clearing his throat, he picks up the shoe and looks at it and its partner lying on the table.)
JOHN: I dunno – they’re just a pair of shoes. (He immediately corrects himself.) Trainers.
SHERLOCK: Good.
(He looks away and picks up his phone while John continues looking at the trainers.)
JOHN: Umm ... they’re in good nick. I’d say they were pretty new ... except the sole has been
well-worn, so the owner must have had them for a while.
(Sherlock, who had started to look frustrated when John said they were new, breathes out a
silent sigh of relief that his friend isn’t that stupid.)
JOHN: Uh, they’re very eighties – probably one of those retro designs.
SHERLOCK: You’re on sparkling form. What else?
JOHN: Well, they’re quite big, so a man’s.
SHERLOCK: But ...?
JOHN (looking inside both of the trainers and seeing blue smudges at the sides): But there’s
traces of a name inside in felt-tip. Adults don’t write their names inside their shoes, so these
belonged to a kid.
SHERLOCK (looking at him proudly): Excellent. What else?
JOHN: Uh ... (he looks again at the shoe he’s holding, then puts it down) ... that’s it.
SHERLOCK: That’s it?
(John nods.)
JOHN: How did I do?
SHERLOCK: Well, John; really well.
(He pauses momentarily.)
SHERLOCK: I mean, you missed almost everything of importance, but, um, you know ...
(He lifts his hand and slowly rotates his wrist to turn his palm upwards, his expression full of
sarcasm. With a look of frustration, John picks up the trainer and gives it to him. Sherlock looks
at it closely as he goes into deduction mode.)
SHERLOCK: The owner loved these. Scrubbed them clean, whitened them where they got
discoloured. Changed the laces three ... no, four times.
(John puts his hands on the desk and lowers his head in despair.)
SHERLOCK: Even so, there are traces of his flaky skin where his fingers have come into contact
with them, so he suffered from eczema. Shoes are well-worn, more so on the inside, which
means the owner had weak arches. British-made, twenty years old.

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)