Page 132 - SHERLOCK transcripts

131

(He turns and walks towards the fireplace, still talking into the phone. Mrs Hudson looks sadly
at a photo of Connie on the wall.)
MRS HUDSON: It was a real shame. I liked her. She taught you how to do your colours.
(Lestrade – who had turned and was watching Sherlock [well, who wouldn’t?] on the other side
of the room – now turns back to Mrs H.)
LESTRADE: Colours?
MRS HUDSON: You know ... (she gestures down at her clothes) ... what goes best with what. I
should never wear cerise, apparently. Drains me.
(Sherlock has just finished his conversation and walks back to join the others.)
LESTRADE: Who was that?
SHERLOCK (staring at the wall): Home Office.
[Good grief – he wasn’t after a posh party invite, was he?]
LESTRADE (surprised): Home Office?
SHERLOCK: Well, Home Secretary, actually. Owes me a favour.
MRS HUDSON (looking at a photo on the wall of Connie holding an award which presumably she
won for her show): She was a pretty girl but she messed about with herself too much. They all
do these days.
(She looks round at Lestrade.)
MRS HUDSON: People can hardly move their faces. It’s silly, isn’t it?!
(She giggles, and Lestrade smiles politely. She turns to Sherlock.)
MRS HUDSON: Did you ever see her show?
SHERLOCK: Not until now.
(He turns and picks up his computer notebook and opens it. A video starts to play, showing
footage of an episode of Connie’s make-over show. She is talking to her brother in the TV
studio.)
CONNIE: You look pasty, love!
KENNY: Ah. (He looks at the audience.) Rained every day but one!
MRS HUDSON: That’s the brother. No love lost there, if you can believe the papers.
SHERLOCK: So I gather. I’ve just been having a very fruitful chat with people who loved this
show. Fan sites – indispensible for gossip.
CONNIE (gesturing to the clothes which her brother is wearing): There’s really only one thing
we can do with that ensemble, don’t you think, girls?
(She stands up and claps her hands rhythmically as she begins to chant.)
CONNIE: Off! Off! Off! Off!
(The audience takes up the chant and the clapping. By the third, “Off!” Connie is rhythmically
beating her hands quite hard onto Kenny’s back as he drops his jacket to the floor and starts to
unbutton his shirt. He grimaces in pain but then turns a false smile towards the audience.)

KENNY PRINCE’S HOUSE. Kenny is still standing by the fireplace, looking thoughtfully at a
framed photograph of Connie holding her TV award. John is sitting on the sofa looking down at
his notebook as he talks.
JOHN: It’s more common than people think. The tetanus is in the soil, people cut themselves on
rose bushes, garden forks, that sort of thing. If left un...
(He looks up in surprise when Kenny – who has walked across the room unnoticed – now plonks
heavily down onto the sofa beside him and stares at him intensely.)
JOHN: ...treated ...
KENNY: I don’t know what I’m going to do now.
JOHN (a little nervously): Right.
KENNY: I mean, she’s left me this place, which is lovely ...
(John looks around the living room with his eyes narrowed, apparently not agreeing how ‘lovely’
the place might be.)
KENNY: ... but it’s not the same without her.
JOHN (fidgeting as he tries to move further away from Kenny, but unable to do so): Th-that’s
why my paper wanted to get the, um, the full story straight from the horse’s mouth. You sure
it’s not too soon?
KENNY: No.
JOHN: Right.
KENNY (still staring intensely at him): You fire away.
(The cat meows and trots across the carpet. Watching it, John reaches up to rub the side of his
nose. As he pulls his hand away again he suddenly realises something and quickly raises his

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)