Page 184 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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Mrs Hudson is sitting on the sofa and Sherlock is in a chair nearby, holding Neilson’s pistol
aimed at him with one hand, and his phone to his ear with the other.)
JOHN: Jeez. What the hell is happening?
SHERLOCK: Mrs Hudson’s been attacked by an American. I’m restoring balance to the universe.
(John immediately hurries over to sit down next to her.)
JOHN: Oh, Mrs Hudson, my God. Are you all right? (Glaring at Neilson as he puts his arm
around her shoulders) Jesus, what have they done to you?
(Mrs Hudson breaks down in tears again.)
MRS HUDSON (covering her face with her hands): Oh, I’m just being so silly.
JOHN (pulling her closer): No, no.
(Sherlock gets to his feet, still holding the phone to his ear while aiming the gun at Neilson.)
SHERLOCK (to John): Downstairs. Take her downstairs and look after her.
(John stands up and helps her to her feet.)
JOHN (gently): All right, it’s all right. I’ll have a look at that.
MRS HUDSON (tearfully): I’m fine, I’m fine.
(As she walks out of the room, John steps over to Sherlock, whose eyes are fixed on Neilson.)
JOHN: Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?
SHERLOCK: I expect so. Now go.
(They look at each other for a moment, then turn their gazes to Neilson and now he’s got two
murderous expressions aimed at him. John turns to leave the room but just before his head is
completely turned away, a small smile begins to form on his face as if he wants Neilson to
understand that he is about to encounter a whole world of hurt.)
SHERLOCK (into phone as John walks away): Lestrade. We’ve had a break-in at Baker Street.
Send your least irritating officers and an ambulance. (Finally taking his eyes off Neilson, he
walks across to the dining table and lays the pistol down on it.) Oh, no-no-no-no-no, we’re fine.
No, it’s the, uh, it’s the burglar. He’s got himself rather badly injured.
(Neilson looks nervous while Sherlock listens to Lestrade’s question.)
SHERLOCK: Oh, a few broken ribs, fractured skull ... suspected punctured lung.
(He looks over his shoulder at Neilson.)
SHERLOCK (into phone): He fell out of a window.
(Still looking into Neilson’s eyes, he hangs up.)

Downstairs in Mrs Hudson’s kitchen, she and John are standing by the sink while he gently
applies some antiseptic to the cut on her cheek with a piece of cotton wool. She flinches.
MRS HUDSON: Ooh, it stings.
(John nods as he continues cleaning the cut. A moment later a shape plummets down past the
window and lands with a crash. John and Mrs H look at the window.)
MRS HUDSON: Ooh. That was right on my bins.
(There’s an agonised groan from outside.)

Some time later, it’s fully dark outside and an ambulance is only now pulling away from 221.
Sherlock is standing outside Speedy’s café with Lestrade, who apparently decided that his least
irritating officer was himself.
LESTRADE: And exactly how many times did he fall out the window?
SHERLOCK: It’s all a bit of a blur, Detective Inspector. I lost count.
(Not bothering to comment, Lestrade walks away. A little later Sherlock comes in through the
kitchen door of 221A and carefully wipes his feet on the doormat. Mrs Hudson and John are
sitting at her small kitchen table. Mrs H still looks very shaken.)
JOHN: She’ll have to sleep upstairs in our flat tonight. We need to look after her.
MRS HUDSON: No.
SHERLOCK: Of course, but she’s fine.
JOHN: No, she’s not. Look at her.
(Sherlock opens the fridge door and peers inside before picking something up.)
JOHN: She’s got to take some time away from Baker Street. She can go and stay with her
sister. Doctor’s orders.
(Kicking the fridge door shut, Sherlock frowns at John and bites into a mince pie.)
SHERLOCK: Don’t be absurd.
JOHN: She’s in shock, for God’s sake, and all over some bloody stupid camera phone. Where is
it, anyway?
SHERLOCK: Safest place I know.

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)