Page 21 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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SHERLOCK (nodding towards the mirror): This one’s stopped.
JOHN: He’s looking for a fare.
(They both watch as a woman walks towards the cab and leans down to the left-hand front
window to talk to the driver. Angelo walks towards their table carrying a glass of white wine.
Out in the street the woman straightens up again and walks away. Sherlock grins.)
JOHN: We don’t know it’s him.
SHERLOCK: We don’t know it isn’t.
(Angelo puts the glass down in front of Sherlock.)
SHERLOCK: Thank you.
(He picks up the glass, closes his eyes and throws the wine into his own face. John and Angelo
jerk back in surprise. Sherlock picks up a paper napkin and pats the worst of the liquid off his
face before putting the napkin down again and reaching for his coat.)
SHERLOCK (to John): Watch. Don’t interfere.
(He looks up at Angelo.)
SHERLOCK: Angelo, headless nun.
ANGELO: Ah, now that was a case!
(He begins to roll up his shirtsleeves as Sherlock puts on his coat.)
ANGELO: Same again?
SHERLOCK: If you wouldn’t mind.
(Instantly Angelo leans forward, seizes Sherlock’s coat and drags him out of his chair.)
ANGELO: Out of my restaurant! Cretino! You’re drunk!
(Sherlock stumbles clumsily across the floor as Angelo bundles him toward the door, continuing
to insult him in Italian. At the door, Angelo shoves Sherlock out into the street.)
ANGELO: And stay away!
(Sherlock staggers around on the pavement as if he is drunk and trying to get his balance. He
totters to the kerb and almost falls down it before stumbling out into the road, causing a car to
slam on its brakes to avoid hitting him. The driver blares his horn as Sherlock holds out his
hands apologetically. Back inside the restaurant, Angelo walks over to John’s side and they
watch Sherlock reel down the side street towards the taxi.)
JOHN: What’s he doing?
ANGELO: Sherlock’s on the case. Bad news for bad people.
(Holding his fist to his mouth as if stifling a burp – or trying not to vomit – Sherlock continues
his drunken walk down the street. Reaching the driver’s window, he raps on the glass with both
hands. The driver inside shakes his head.)
SHERLOCK (in a slurred drunken voice): Hey, hey! Come on!
(The cabbie rolls down his window.)
CABBIE: Sorry, mate, off duty.
SHERLOCK: Two two one ... (he stifles a burp) ... B Baker Street.
CABBIE: I’m not on duty, mate. You see the light?
(He points up to the roof where the sign is no longer illuminated.)
SHERLOCK: Jus’ round the corner! It’s Baker Street!
CABBIE: There’s plenty of other cabs round ’ere. Get another cab.
(Sherlock lurches against the side of the taxi as if unable to keep his balance.)
SHERLOCK: Two two one B!
CABBIE: I’m not on duty, an’ I don’t do drunks.
(Sherlock rolls along the side of the taxi until he is facing the rear of the vehicle. Reaching into
his coat pocket, he takes out his phone and hits a speed-dial. He holds the phone to his ear
and, inside the cab, another phone starts to ring. The cabbie fishes a pink phone from his jacket
pocket and cautiously answers it.)
CABBIE: ’ello?
SHERLOCK (intensely into his own phone, all trace of drunkenness gone): How do you make
them take the poison?
CABBIE: What? What did ... what did you say?
(Spinning around, Sherlock hurries to the open window and grabs the cabbie’s jacket with both
hands.)
SHERLOCK: I said, how do you make them take the poison?
CABBIE (grappling with him): Oi! Who are you?
SHERLOCK: Sherlock Holmes.
CABBIE: Do a lot of drugs, Sherlock ’olmes?
SHERLOCK: Not in a while.
CABBIE: I ask ’cause you’re very resilient.

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)