Page 260 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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SHERLOCK (louder, angrily): Can you turn this off ...
(The image on the screen begins to fritz as if another channel is breaking through. There are
momentary glimpses of someone who can only be Jim Moriarty grinning at the screen.
Eventually the advert disappears and Jim is seen smiling cheerfully. Behind him is a pale blue
wall with painted white fluffy clouds floating across it. Jim’s voice takes on a sing-song quality
as if he is talking to children.)
JIM: Hullo. Are you ready for the story? This is the story of Sir Boast-a-lot.
(Sherlock stares at the screen, his face intense.)

SCOTLAND YARD. Sally is showing Greg one of the photographs.
DONOVAN: The footprint. It’s all he has. A footprint.
LESTRADE: Yeah, well, you know what he’s like – CSI Baker Street.
DONOVAN: Well, our boys couldn’t have done it.
LESTRADE: Well, that’s why we need him. He’s better.
DONOVAN: That’s one explanation.
LESTRADE: And what’s the other?

TAXI. Jim’s image continues to smile from the TV screen.
JIM: Sir Boast-a-lot was the bravest and cleverest knight at the Round Table, but soon the
other knights began to grow tired of his stories about how brave he was and how many dragons
he’d slain ...
(Behind him, the pale blue sky gets darker and the white clouds become grey and threatening.)
JIM: And soon they began to wonder ...
(Behind him, rain begins to pour from the clouds.)
JIM: ... ‘Are Sir Boast-a-lot’s stories even true?’

SCOTLAND YARD (offscreen).
DONOVAN (voiceover): Only he could have found that evidence.

TAXI TV SCREEN. Jim sadly shakes his head.
JIM: Oh, no.

SCOTLAND YARD.
DONOVAN: And then the girl screams her head off when she sees him – a man she has never
seen before ... unless she had seen him before.
LESTRADE: Wh-what’s your point?
DONOVAN: You know what my point is. You just don’t wanna think about it.
JIM (on the taxi TV screen): So one of the knights went to King Arthur and said ... (in a
dramatic whisper) ... ‘I don’t believe Sir Boast-a-lot’s stories. He’s just a big old liar who makes
things up to make himself look good.’
(At Scotland Yard, Anderson has now come in and he and Sally stand opposite Greg’s desk as
he sits talking with them.)
LESTRADE: You’re not seriously suggesting he’s involved, are you?
ANDERSON: I think we have to entertain the possibility.
(Greg stares at him, bewildered.)
JIM (on the TV screen): And then even the King began to wonder ...
(He frowns, raising a finger to his mouth and gazing off to the side with a thoughtful look on his
face. At Scotland Yard, Greg sinks his face into his hand as he is forced to consider what his
officers are telling him. On the taxi TV screen, Jim frowns thoughtfully while cartoon lightning
bolts shoot out of the clouds behind him.)
JIM (shaking his head repeatedly): But that wasn’t the end of Sir Boast-a-lot’s problem. No.
(He looks down for a moment, then raises his eyes to the camera again.)
JIM: That wasn’t the final problem.
(Sherlock bares his teeth at the screen as the camera pulls back to show Jim sitting with a
storybook held in his hands. He looks up at the camera and finishes in an even more sing-song
voice.)
JIM: The End.
(Behind him, a red velvet curtain drops down as if covering a theatre stage. The shot changes
to an extreme close-up of Jim grinning hugely and showing his teeth, then the screen fritzes a
few times and eventually returns to the jewellery advert.)
SHERLOCK: Stop the cab! Stop the cab!

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)