Page 354 - SHERLOCK transcripts

353

Still umming vaguely, he wanders over to the chair and looks more closely at it, then twirls
around and his eyes settle in a rather unfocused way on Tessa and he deduces her:

nurse
?? client ?
victim ??
cardigan

Scratching his head, he suddenly looks inspired. He grins at Tessa.)
SHERLOCK (slurred): I’m just gonna whip this out.
(He puts his hand into his coat pocket, then stumbles in circles across the room while he tugs at
whatever he’s trying to pull out. Eventually he manages to extract his pouch of equipment from
the pocket, simultaneously shaking off his coat and dropping it to the floor. He blinks at the
pouch, then unrolls it and takes out his magnifier. Tossing the pouch over his shoulder, he holds
the magnifier up to show the others.)
SHERLOCK: Mm-hmm?
(He clicks it open. The landlord sighs again while Tessa smiles awkwardly. John is still half-
asleep leaning against the pillar. Sherlock drops to his knees on a white rug, braces himself with
his left hand and slowly wobbles forward onto his right elbow. Tessa turns to John and gently
pushes him upright from the pillar.)
TESSA (smiling at him): You all right?
JOHN (vaguely): Hmm? Yeah. He’s clueing.
TESSA: What?
JOHN: He’s ... hmm? He’s clueing for looks.
(They look down at Sherlock, who has brought his face down to within about four inches of the
rug. He is holding his magnifier to his eye and looking through it, then his eyes drift closed and
he slowly topples forward and face-plants onto the rug.)
TESSA: Mr Holmes?
(Sherlock doesn’t respond, still on his knees with his bum stuck up in the air. He snores noisily.
Tessa looks nervously at the landlord and steps forward towards Sherlock.)
TESSA (louder): Mr Holmes?!
LANDLORD: I’m calling the police.
TESSA: Oh, no ...
(The landlord walks across to the rug and hauls Sherlock up onto his knees.)
SHERLOCK (flailing and indignant): Whoa, whoa, whoa!
(The landlord steps back as John holds out a warning hand to him.)
TESSA: This is a famous detective. It’s Sherlock Holmes and his partner, John Hamish Watson.
(John steps towards the landlord, attempting and utterly failing to look threatening.)
SHERLOCK (indignantly): What d’you think you’re doing? Don’t compromise the integrity of the
...
(He turns round, bends over and throws up on the rug. The landlord closes his eyes, and Tessa
puts her hand across her mouth. John’s eyes drift upwards as he goes into full thinking mode
again. Eventually he finds the words he needs to finish Sherlock’s sentence for him.)
JOHN (loudly): ... crime scene!
(He grins triumphantly at Tessa and holds up his right palm for her to high-five. She doesn’t
take up the offer. Eventually he lowers his hand again, shaking his head. Sherlock coughs and
straightens up onto his knees again. He gestures towards John with the magnifier.)
SHERLOCK: Yeah, that.
(Looking up at the others, he holds up the magnifier and delicately clicks it closed, then wipes
the vomit off his mouth.)

Close-up of John’s face. He is in a bright room somewhere. His heartbeat can be heard, and his
gentle exhale sounds very loud. His eyes move behind his closed lids with a rasping sound. He
screws up his eyes a couple of times, the movements making squelchy sounds, then he opens
his eyes and blinks with a loud click. A door opens nearby and now we see that John is sitting
on the floor of a white-tiled room with his back against the wall. He grimaces at the sound of
the door.
LESTRADE (cheerfully, offscreen): Wakey-wakey!
JOHN (still grimacing): Oh my God.

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)