Page 372 - SHERLOCK transcripts

371

(Sherlock looks at her for a moment, then turns to the music stand in front of him. He had
taken off his buttonhole flower and put it on the stand so that it wouldn’t get in the way while
he was playing and now he picks it up, shows her what he’s holding and then tosses it across
the room towards her. She catches it. John – who has pulled Mary upright again and is laughing
happily – waves his thanks to Sherlock, then kisses Mary again as Sherlock steps to the nearby
microphone.)
SHERLOCK: Ladies and gentlemen, just, er, one last thing before the evening begins properly.
Apologies for earlier. A crisis arose and was dealt with.
(He draws in a breath.)
SHERLOCK: More importantly, however, today we saw two people make vows. I’ve never made
a vow in my life, and after tonight I never will again. So, here in front of you all, my first and
last vow. Mary and John: whatever it takes, whatever happens, from now on I swear I will
always be there, always, for all three of you.
(He hesitates momentarily, then stutters.)
SHERLOCK: Er, I’m sorry, I mean, I mean two of you. All two of you. Both of you, in fact. I’ve
just miscounted.
(He takes a sharp breath. John and Mary exchange a slightly worried look.)
SHERLOCK: Anyway, it’s time for dancing. (Over his shoulder to the DJ on the stage) Play the
music again, please, thank you.
(Disco lights begin to flash and Sherlock gestures grandly to the guests as Frankie Valli & The
Four Seasons’ song “December, 1963 (Oh What A Night)” starts to play.)
SHERLOCK: Okay, everybody, just dance. Don’t be shy!
(He walks down off the stage, still gesturing to the crowd.)
SHERLOCK: Dancing, please!
(The guests start to move onto the floor and begin to dance.)
SHERLOCK: Very good!
(He walks over to Mary and John who look quizzically at him.)
SHERLOCK: Sorry, that was one more deduction than I was really expecting.
MARY: “Deduction”?
SHERLOCK (looking intensely at her): Increased appetite ...
(Flashback to Mary taking one of the canapés from the waiter’s tray.)
MARY (in flashback): Starving.
SHERLOCK: ... change of taste perception ...
(Flashback to Mary grimacing at her wine glass.)
MARY (in flashback): Urgh. I chose this wine. It’s bloody awful.
SHERLOCK: ... and you were sick this morning. You assumed it was just wedding nerves. You
got angry with me when I mentioned it to you. All the signs are there.
MARY: “The signs”?
(Sherlock glances across to John, then turns his eyes back to her.)
SHERLOCK: The signs of three.
(His gaze drops to her abdomen.)
MARY: What?!
SHERLOCK: Mary, I think you should do a pregnancy test.
(John sighs and drops his head, almost bending over double. Mary grins delightedly at
Sherlock.)
SHERLOCK: W... th... the statistics for the first trimester are ...
JOHN (straightening up): Shut up.
(Sherlock freezes in the middle of forming his next word. He looks at John as if waiting for
permission to continue.)
JOHN: Just ... shut up.
SHERLOCK: Sorry.
(John turns to Mary.)
JOHN (looking annoyed with himself): How did he notice before me? I’m a bloody doctor.
SHERLOCK: It’s your day off.
JOHN: It’s your day off!
SHERLOCK: Stop-stop panicking.
JOHN: I’m not panicking.
MARY: I’m pregnant – I’m panicking.
SHERLOCK: Don’t panic. None of you panic.
(The Watsons both look down, their faces full of concern.)
SHERLOCK: Absolutely no reason to panic.

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)