Page 381 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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SHERLOCK: I’m undercover.
JOHN: No you’re not!
SHERLOCK (gesticulating angrily): Well, I’m not now!
(Mary has driven the car quickly towards the house, and she pulls up alongside them with a
squeal of brakes.)
MARY (sternly): In. Both of you, quickly.
(John gets into the passenger seat while Sherlock gets into the seat behind him. Bill hurries
over towards the car, cradling his hurt arm. Mary sighs in exasperation at her boys, then turns
to look through the front windscreen at the new arrival standing in front of the car.)
BILL: Please. Can I come? I think I’ve got a broken arm.
MARY: No. Go away.
JOHN: No, let him.
MARY: Why?
JOHN (to Bill, leaning out of the open side window and pointing towards the rear of the car):
Yeah, just get in. It’s a sprain.
(Bill runs round the side of the car.)
MARY: Anyone else? I mean, we’re taking everybody home, are we?
(Sighing, Sherlock shifts to the centre of the rear seat to give Bill some room. Bill gets in and
looks round at him.)
BILL: All right, Shezza?
JOHN (incredulously): “Shezza”?
SHERLOCK (tetchily): I was undercover.
MARY: Seriously – “Shezza,” though?!
(Sherlock sighs again.)
JOHN: We’re not going home. We’re going to Bart’s. I’m calling Molly.
(In the rear seat, Sherlock is wiping some of the dirt off his face with a handkerchief.)
MARY: Why?
JOHN (holding his phone to his ear and turning to look over his shoulder at his friend before
directing the rest of the sentence to Mary): Because Sherlock Holmes needs to pee in a jar.
(Sherlock lowers his handkerchief and closes his eyes with exasperation. Mary drives them all
away.)

Later, in the lab at Bart’s, Molly is finishing her tests on Sherlock’s urine sample. He is standing
nearby, leaning back against the central bench and looking sulky. On the other side of the lab
Bill is sitting on a side bench while Mary is wrapping a bandage round his arm. Isaac is also
sitting nearby. Molly takes off her gloves with two loud snaps.
JOHN: Well? Is he clean?
(Throwing her gloves down, Molly turns to him.)
MOLLY: Clean?
(She turns and walks over to face Sherlock, then slaps him hard around the face with her right
hand. Mary, Bill and Isaac look over to them in surprise. Molly slaps him again just as hard and
then, for good measure, slaps him again with her left hand. Sherlock blinks and grimaces.)
MOLLY: How dare you throw away the beautiful gifts you were born with?
(She glances briefly towards John and then looks back at Sherlock.)
MOLLY: And how dare you betray the love of your friends? Say you’re sorry.
SHERLOCK (holding his face): Sorry your engagement’s over – though I’m fairly grateful for the
lack of a ring.
MOLLY: Stop it. (Angrily) Just stop it.
(John storms towards him, his face stern but his voice low.)
JOHN: If you were anywhere near this kind of thing again, you could have called, you could
have talked to me.
SHERLOCK: Please do relax. This is all for a case.
(Mary, still wrapping Bill’s arm, shakes her head.)
JOHN: A ca... What kind of case would need you doing this?
SHERLOCK: I might as well ask you why you’ve started cycling to work.
JOHN (shaking his head): No. We’re not playing this game.
(He turns and walks away.)
SHERLOCK: Quite recently, I’d say. You’re very determined about it.
JOHN: Not interested.
BILL: I am.
(Sherlock turns to look at him. Bill looks down at Mary.)

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)