Page 7 - SHERLOCK transcripts
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JOHN (to Sherlock): How?
SHERLOCK: You read the article.
JOHN: The article was absurd.
SHERLOCK (turning round to face him again): But I know about his drinking habits. I even
know that he left his wife.
(Mrs Hudson has picked up a copy of The Times newspaper and is looking at the front page.)
MRS HUDSON: What about these suicides then, Sherlock? Thought that’d be right up your
street. Been a fourth one now.
(Outside the windows, the lights of a police car flash as it approaches with its siren going.
Sherlock walks over to the window as the car pulls up outside.)
SHERLOCK: Yes, actually. Very much up my street.
JOHN (leaning forward in the chair): Can I just ask: what is your street?
SHERLOCK (looking down at the police car): There’s been a fifth.
(Sherlock turns as D.I. Lestrade [who apparently must have picked the lock on the front door ...
like you do ...] trots up the stairs and comes into the living room.)
SHERLOCK: Where this time?
LESTRADE: Brixton, Lauriston Gardens. Will you come?
SHERLOCK: Who’s on forensics?
LESTRADE: It’s Anderson.
SHERLOCK: Anderson won’t work with me.
LESTRADE: He won’t be your assistant.
SHERLOCK: But I need an assistant.
LESTRADE: Will you come?
SHERLOCK: Not in a police car. I’ll be right behind.
LESTRADE: Thank you.
(Looking round at John and Mrs Hudson for a moment, he turns and leaves the room. Biting his
lip to hold back his delighted smile, Sherlock waits until the inspector is trotting down the stairs,
then clenches his fists triumphantly and leaps into the air.)
SHERLOCK: Oh! Brilliant!
(Mrs Hudson giggles happily for him.)
SHERLOCK: Thought it was gonna be a dull evening.
(He starts putting his coat on.)
SHERLOCK (to John): Honestly, can’t beat a really imaginative serial killer when there’s nothing
on the telly.
(Leaping across the room while he puts his scarf on, he goes across to the bureau.)
SHERLOCK: Mrs Hudson, I may be out late. Might need some food.
MRS HUDSON: I’m your landlady, dear, not your housekeeper.
(Sherlock picks up a small pouch of equipment and checks the implements inside it.)
SHERLOCK: Something cold will do. John, make yourself at home. Er, have a cup of tea. Don’t
wait up.
(He races out of the door and disappears from view. Mrs Hudson giggles.)
MRS HUDSON: Look at him, dashing about! My husband was just the same.
(John sits back in his chair, looking tired.)
MRS HUDSON: But you’re more the sitting-down type, I can tell.
(John looks uncomfortable.)
MRS HUDSON (heading for the kitchen): I’ll make you that cuppa. You rest your leg.
JOHN (loudly): Damn my leg!
(His response was instinctive and he is immediately apologetic as Mrs Hudson gasps and comes
back towards him, making an indignant sound.)
JOHN: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s just that sometimes this bloody thing ...
(He bashes his leg with his cane.)
MRS HUDSON: I understand, dear; I’ve got a hip.
(She turns towards the kitchen again.)
JOHN: A cup of tea would be lovely, thank you.
MRS HUDSON: Just this once, dear. I’m not your housekeeper.
JOHN (grabbing the nearby copy of The Times): Couple of biscuits too, if you’ve got ’em.
MRS HUDSON (heading out of the kitchen door): I’m not your housekeeper!
(John looks at the front page of the newspaper which bears the headline ‘Fourth “suicide”
Found’ and shows a photograph of the man who just visited the flat, identifying him as
Inspector Lestrade, the lead detective in charge of the investigation. As he reads on, Sherlock
Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)

