Page 54 - Esquire (November 2019)

the Big Bite

B O O K S

GARRY SHANDLING’S ADVICE TO

HIS 16-YEAR-OLD SELF

Judd Apatow’s book on his late mentor, It’s Garry Shandling’s Book, features a newly

discovered letter brimming with Shandling’s signature wit and generosity of

spirit. In it, the comedian breaks down the dos and don’ts he’ll need for his own future.

1) Acne goes away.
It’s perhaps the biggest
advantage to growing
older. But then your
hair thins, but don’t
think about that now.

2) Time doesn’t actu-
ally exist. However,
in this impermanent
world, the illusion that
time is passing is a 10) One day you
sign that points to what will not have to wear
some physicists call glasses, there is a
this relative world. surgery that can fix
You do not exist in as your eyes. I know how
I write this. Nor do I, bad yours are. The
at this age, in your doctor may have
world. But, on another to go in thru the back.
plane we are one, hap-
pening simultaneously.
11) Be just
[Letter skips #3 who you are
and #4.]
12) Know the world
5) Grow-up is impermanent, and
is in constant move-
6) I want to ment. Nothing, by
assure you nature, is ever exactly
the same the next time
that you
are enough. 13) Punch a couple
Don’t doubt of kids at school. I can’t
this. You are recall their names
now, but you know who
just as God I’m talking about.
intended.
14) Please don’t
7) Learn to meditate wait till you’re 22 to
move out of the house
ON THE ROAD away from home.
8) I will always be Shandling onstage.
there to guide and give Left: With his mother, I’m still choking suffo-
you advice. cated by it

Santa Barbara, 1975. 15) iPod, DVD,
9) Stop HD, Bluetooth. No
masturbating these aren’t diseases.
Or are they?
Excerpted from “It’s Garry Shandling’s Book,” edited and
with an introduction by Judd Apatow. On sale November 12, 2019.
Copyright © 2019 by Judd Apatow. Used by permission of Random House, 16) You think your
an imprint and division of Penguin Random House LLC. ham radio set is fancy
technology. Just wait.

50 November 2019_Esquire