Page 65 - Marie Claire Australia (January 2020)

RELATIONSHIPS
“MY BOYFRIEND
CLIMBED A 900-METRE
PHOTOGRAPHY BY JIMMY CHIN; JUSTIN BISHOP; KKGAS/STOCKSY.COM; COURTESY OF SANNI MCCANDLESS; COURTESY OF SASKIA TILLERS; COURTESY OF KAYLA WRATTEN. SANNI’S STORY AS TOLD TO ALLEY PASCOE.
VERTICAL ROCK FACE
WITHOUT ROPES”
SA N N I M CC A N D LE S S , 27
I once I fell in love with him,
met Alex [Honnold] in 2015 at a
book signing in Seattle for his tome
Alone On The Wall, about his free
solo career where he climbs vertical
rock faces without ropes. He was
really honest, funny and a bit snarky; I
was immediately drawn to him. When
I went to get my book signed, I gave
him my number and he messaged me
that night. We hung out three weeks
later when Alex was back in Seattle and
haven’t stopped hanging out since.
We’d been dating for six months
when Alex invited me to go to
Switzerland with him on a climbing
trip. I quit my job and we started living
together in Alex’s van on the road after
that. The whole process of climbing
is special to us, we both love being
outside, pushing ourselves and then
coming home to our van and relishing
the memories. I always joke that me
and Alex are very different people –
I’m super emotional and he is much
more straightforward and rational –
but we have climbing in common.
When I was still fairly new to
climbing, I dropped Alex. I was
holding onto his ropes when they
slipped through my hands and he fell
three metres, landing on his side. It
was one of the worst days of my life.
At the time, we thought he had two
compression fractures on his back.
When he fell, he didn’t yell at me
or blame me at all. He did sort of
break up with me, though. He said,
“Climbing is the most important thing
in my life and if being with you hurts
my climbing then I don’t know if I can
be with you.” I told him we shouldn’t
break up over the fall, that I knew I
messed up, but I didn’t want it to be
the end of our story. We had a long
conversation about what went wrong,
how it could have been prevented
and, by the end of it, we agreed
we shouldn’t break up.
I’ve always understood that
climbing is a part of Alex; it’s his
life and his deepest passion. We’d
been dating less than a year when
Alex first attempted to free solo
El Capitan, a 900-metre rock
wall in Yosemite National Park
[California]. No-one had done it
before. It was his lifelong dream,
his baby. At the time, a lot of
people asked me how I allowed
him to climb without ropes. I’ve
never felt like it was up for debate.
It’s like dating a doctor and telling
them they couldn’t be a
doctor anymore. It did take
me a while to get used to the
idea of Alex soloing, but
I decided to take him as he
is. Plus, he’s been doing it
judgement. He is very
for 30 years and I trust his
capable of making good FROM TOP
Alex and
assessments of situations. Sanni
When he first attempted to in their
campervan;
free solo El Capitan in and the pair
November 2016, he backed climbing
off after less than an hour of together.
climbing because the
conditions didn’t feel right. Alex started soloing at 5:23am and a
While he was preparing to do the director of Free Solo, Elizabeth Chai
second attempt in June 2017, which Vasarhelyi, sent me updates as he
was chronicled in the documentary progressed. I tried to take deep
Free Solo, I definitely felt like an breathes. It was out of my control.
outsider. Soloing requires a very After climbing for four hours,
particular mindset and Alex had to Alex rang me when he got into phone
protect that, so he didn’t tell me when reception at the top of the cliff. It was
he was planning to do it. the best phone call of my life. I could
When Alex did eventually tell me, hear his smile through the phone.
he asked me to leave the valley the day I remember being so proud of him
before the climb. I broke down and and happy that he had done it.
cried in the car alone, saying, “What if Alex isn’t a big celebrator, so we
something happens to him? What if I didn’t have a party. But we went to
don’t see him again?” It was probably brunch with everyone involved in
the only time in two years that I really the film the next day and relived the
let myself consider the worst. It was process, watching some of the uncut
incredibly painful, but also cathartic. I footage. The best celebration for Alex
went home to Las Vegas the day before and I was our lives going back to
the climb and the film shows our last normal without the climb looming
hug. I was trying to act totally normal, above us. It was such a big part of the
so I just told Alex I’d see him in a few first year of our relationship, so it was
days. I had to be neutral. I couldn’t a sigh of relief when it was over. We’re
show excitement because it would in our own routine now at home in
put pressure on him to do it, but I Las Vegas and can look to the future.
also couldn’t show worry because I’m working on my life-coaching
it would put doubt in his head. business and Alex is still training and
I didn’t sleep very well the night climbing, but he’s not planning another
before the climb, but when I woke up audacious ascent anytime soon. I’m
the next morning, I felt relatively calm. happy to move on to our next chapter.
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