Page 118 - Men’s Health - USA (December 2019)
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THERE ARE a lot of reasons to listen life. Pre-tragedy, I was inhibited, men. It’s not that men aren’t interested
to Mark Manson. He has the unvar- unambitious, forever obsessed and in achieving emotional maturity or
nished wisdom of a bartender in a confi ned by what I imagined the world distilling their values, Manson adds. It’s
fi shing town, for one thing. With his might be thinking of me,” Manson writes. just that when most writers hold forth on
2016 mega best seller, The Subtle Art “Post-tragedy, I morphed into a new those subjects, they kick a masculinity
of Not Giving a F*ck, Manson set out to person: responsible, curious, hardwork- trip wire: There’s still a stigma attached
contradict everything all the other self- ing. I still had my insecurities and my to men discussing their mental health
help books were saying: “If other self-help baggage—as we always do—but now I gave and, more nebulously, their feelings.
books say you’re special, I’m going to write a fuck about something more important Manson is unnervingly well-read in
a chapter called ‘You’re Not Special.’ If than my insecurities and my baggage.” the works of the industry’s old vanguard.
other self-help books tell you to believe It’s feeling-speak, but it’s anchored He’s able to summarize and belittle
in yourself, I’m going to tell you not to by raw storytelling (and the occasional entire bodies of work in a single sentence.
believe in yourself. If other self-help books fuck). Everything Is F*cked is less moored (“He’s good. He’s really, really good,” he
tell you, ‘Just say yes,’ I’m going to write a to Manson’s own experiences than The says of life coach and fellow mega author
chapter that says, ‘Just say no.’ ” Subtle Art, but in the former he cushions Tony Robbins. “But with that many
The Subtle Art has sold more than his philosophies in yarns—the book people”—meaning with an audience that
6 million copies, and Manson’s recent opens with a story of Holocaust heroism. far-ranging—“you’re going to fuck some
follow-up, Everything Is F*cked, was on Not long ago, Manson read a review of up.”) Manson studied how Robbins buried
the best-seller list for 13 weeks. His blog, Everything Is F*cked that described him advice about needs and values in business
MarkManson.net, boasts more than along the lines of “the local drunk who advice, and he saw how the pickup books
a million monthly readers, with half a spent too much time in the philosophy did the same thing with romantic advice.
million paid subscribers. section at the bookstore.” He was unruf- “I think if there’s been a breakthrough
Still, Manson has an aura of approach- fl ed by the review. “I read that and I’m in my work,” Manson says, “it’s that
ability. It could be his soft, friendly- like, ‘That’s pretty accurate.’ ” I have found a way to appeal to a lot of
looking features, or the way he seems Strikingly, Manson’s books appeal to men—to make it okay for them to read
comfortable in every chair, even when both men and women, who have histori- a book that talks about feelings, and
he’s onstage. It could be the swearing. cally been shuttled into separate lanes values, and relationships—without also
At fi rst, I think the fucks sound a little by the self-help industry: Men self- alienating women.”
forced, in the context of his latest books’ improved by getting swole or getting rich, There are plenty of self-help writers
titles—like a kid who swears because and women self-improved by fi nding hus- with accessible voices and good stories
he knows it’s going to get a rise out of bands and laying out all those husbands’ who don’t alienate women, but none of
his mom. But the curse words become work outfi ts for the week on Sunday them have Manson’s audience. What
more frequent when Manson is talking night. Manson estimates that his events’ sets him apart is his ability to cast
passionately about something and less audiences are two-thirds female and one- himself as the clear-eyed voice of reason
frequent when he’s considering every third male, but he says that men are way in an industry of nuts. He did it recently,
word. He’s just a swearer. more likely to come up to him afterward, with the self-help industry, and he did it
In his books, Manson, 35, fl ays himself: to tell him how he’s changed their lives. years ago, with the pickup-artist com-
The Subtle Art, in particular, draws heav- “My most fervent fans are always guys. munity. And that is perhaps the most
ily on his personal highs and lows. Some I’m probably one of four authors that they compelling reason to listen to Mark
moments are funny, and some are unex- really like,” he says. He explains that Manson: At a time when male come-
pectedly gutting, as when he describes his besides publishing books about making backs seem unlikely, even impossible,
friend Josh’s drowning when Manson was money, as well as a wave of “creepy pickup he has managed to successfully rebrand
a teenager. “Josh’s death marks the clear- books” in the aughts, the self-help indus- from professional bad dude to profes-
est before/after point I can identify in my try hadn’t really found a way to address sional good dude.
120 December 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH
