Page 335 - English for Writing Research Papers

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18.14 How long should the Discussion be?
Find the most cited papers in your field, and note the proportion of space given to

the Discussion relative to the other sections. Adopt the same proportion.

18.15 How can I be more concise?
After the Abstract, the Discussion is generally the most important section in the
paper. This is where you highlight for the reader what you have achieved and what
it all means in the context of the state of the art. So it is very important that you
present this information as concisely as possible. Compare these two versions of the
same sentence:

S1. Furthermore, PCB 180 has been reported to share several toxicological targets with
dioxin-like compounds [Ref. 1]. Hence, it appears reasonable to assume that PCB 180
may affect the AhR pathway in pituitary apoptosis. In fact, the involvement of the AhR
pathway in the regulation of apoptosis has been recently reported [Ref. 2]. The contents of
the PCB were in agreement with the results of Chad et al [Ref. 3] and similar to those
reported by Jones [Ref. 4].
S2. Furthermore, PCB 180 shares several toxicological targets with dioxin-like compounds
[Ref. 1]. Hence, PCB 180 may affect the AhR pathway in pituitary apoptosis. In fact, the
AhR pathway may be involved in the regulation of apoptosis [Ref. 2]. The PCB contents
were in agreement with Chad et al [Ref. 3] and similar to Jones [Ref. 4].

S2 is a third shorter than S1, but with no loss of detail. If your Discussion was origi-
nally three pages long, then in theory you could save one page by removing redun-
dancy (Chapter 5 ).

The problem with S1 is that you are forcing readers to read the same phrase ( has
been reported ) or a similar phrase ( reported by , the results of ) again and again.
Other phrases that you may be able to remove are: it has been suggested / proposed
that …, it is well known that …

Such redundancy may cause the reader to read with less attention, and thus they
may miss the important points you are trying to make.

The modal verb may in S2 already incorporates the phrase it appears reasonable
to assume that …, so the latter phrase is probably redundant. However, if you
are deliberately trying to be cautious, then you could write: we believe that PCB
180 may …

You can massively improve the structure and the language you use in your Discussion

by analyzing how other authors in your field write their Discussion sections – but
only choose papers from high impact journals.