Page 19 - People Daily Newspaper

Monday, September 20, 2021 / PEOPLE DAILY

TWOINONE

Odds against You Itʼs all about -JGF & 4UZMF
polygamy in

modern times Dating again after recent

I was recently invited to contribute
to a men’s debate on polygamy. Now,
there seems to be a trend of wanting breakup; is it too soon?
to move back to our traditional prac-
tices. Many men argue that our fore-
fathers were polygamous and lived a
good life. Why are we now shunning
polygamy? They argue that mo-
nogamy is a white man’s culture that i Achokis. I have been
was forced on us as Africans. How in a relationship for the
can we as men control our sexual last five years. However,
urges? What is better — to go sow- we broke up and I’m now
ing wild seeds out there or to marry in another relationship
more than one wife and take care of with a colleague. It’s
those children in a polygamous set- Hnow two months and I’m
up like our forefathers did? What do really enjoying my new relationship.
we expect to happen to those other The problem is that my close friends
women out there who don’t have have been against my new relationship
husbands seeing that the number of saying that I need to be considerate
women is higher than that of men? about my ex, plus it’s too soon for me
Whereas what happened in the to move on. Is there some validity in
past was beneficial to the society what they are saying or should I just
then since women were not empow- ignore them?
ered and solely depended on men Chemtai
for provision and protection, the
same can’t be said of women today.
Many are now able to provide for
themselves. Life, especially in the
urban areas is expensive and taking
care of more than one wife is hard. QUOTE
Today’s empowered woman is also But as far as the speed in which you processed well, the baggage from the OF THE
not like the traditional one who knew have moved on is concerned, there previous relationship may just come
that she got married to cook, till the OUR TAKE... WEEK
land and take care of her man. could be some validity to their concern. back to haunt you.
There is no specific time between end-
Today’s empowered woman wants
to be loved and treated special. This ing one relationship and embarking Be objective
on a new one, but anything less than
It is, therefore, important to examine
can be hard if you have more than ACHOKIS six months is rather too soon. It might yourself, be honest with yourself and 5IF CJHHFTU
one woman. Being there for more
than one woman is a tall ordernot look like a rebound relationship, where see if there’s any unfinished business DPXBSE PG
you might be avoiding to process the
that needs to be done with. Find out
just financially, but emotionally as uman beings are greatly emotions from the other relationship. how the break-up affected you. Though
well. The stresses that come with influenced by the opinion A rebound relationship is a relationship B NBO JT
relationships are further multiplied of their circle. We all want wherein an individual who just recently it’s hard when one is in love to be ob-
jective, try listening objectively to your
with the multiple women one has our parents, family , friends ended a romantic relationship gets friends. Are they genuinely concerned UP BXBLFO
as much as men think that can be a and relatives to accept our involved with someone else despite
good place to escape from the rela- choices, especially when it not being emotionally healed from the for you or are they just not happy be- UIF MPWF PG
cause they liked or were used to your
tional stresses with our wives. Un- Hcomes to our relationships.
like the traditional woman who had In your case, your circle of friends are breakup. So, how did you end the other former boyfriend and are feeling for B XPNBO
him?
relationship? Have you been able to
no say, today’s empowered woman not happy with the way you have moved on, bring closure to it before embarking on If that’s the case, then you need to
may even leave you if not throw you not necessarily your new catch. They seem this new relationship? XJUIPVU UIF
out because of the other woman. concerned about your ex, maybe they liked look for a neutral person, who can be
objective enough to help you process
And so, no matter what argu- him or had gotten used to you and him
ments you may have for polygamy, being an item that now that things have A rebound relationship things. Hopefully they may help you see JOUFOUJPO PG
things clearly thus affirm your decision
Jumping into any new relationship
the prevailing circumstances today ended, they are still grieving their loss. In is often so exciting, no wonder you are to move on or to stop and rethink your MPWJOH IFS
still agree with God’s original intent, that case, you don’t need to worry much
for one man and one wife so that the about their concerns because it is you who enjoying yourself now. But when the relationship.
honeymoon is over and you get into
The writers are marriage and rela-
two, not three or five, can become knows exactly what you went through in what we call the drama stage of the re- tionship coaches m #PC .BSMFZ
one.
that relationship and why you ended it. lationship, those things that you never barnieachoki@gmail.com
MILLENIAL MIX 8*5) /+&3* ."*/"
Dress well now, othewise old age is coming
Hey young woman in dowdy clothes. Imagine how good they would look if unattractive 70-year-old matrons. And afraid to rock despite your svelte figure Perception is created through conduct
Yes, you the self-confessed tomboy they were given a natural rack and long there is nothing wrong with being 70, today will not be an option once age and looks. The way you dress, talk and
in the baggy jeans and T-shirts today, legs to work with. They would use it and dressing in conservative fashion if piles up and your metabolism pipes carry yourself might take you further
but were in a formless skirt yesterday. better than you are, that is for sure. we are lucky enough to get there. down. Never exploring the full range than your smarts ever could. So use
Are you happy with the way you look? Here is the thing, the Internet and But wouldn’t you rather do the best of your femininity and just how fashion those smarts to curate an image that is
Do you feel happy with yourself every the second wave of feminism has made you can in the interim with what you could have enhanced it will definitely your own version of femininity. Break
time you look in the mirror? How do it so hard to advocate for women to have now, but might not have later. be one of the things you regret when out that red dress and put on those
you feel when you meet a young gor- dress better. Between the #metoo Remember that your boobs will be flat you are old and unable to change heels. Look good, feel good. Dress well
geous gay man who is more feminine movement, which scandalises wom- and saggy one day, so wear something your clothes unaided. You will not be without downplaying your feminin-
than you are? How do you feel when en’s choice of dressing and the perfor- sexy, but tasty that hints at them while young forever, so explore your youth ity so that when you are old and see a
you see them in heels and form fitting mative femininity wave that claims that they are young and perky. Your legs unweighted by societal obligations and young girl in a short dress, instead of
clothes complete with a beautiful set of women dress for the male gaze, wom- will one day have varicose veins, so do rules. telling townspeople to disrobe her, you
nails next to your overused flats, round en have thrown all caution to the wind not shy away from short dresses and Research has shown that people are will smile and tell her if she feels good,
shapeless dress and chewed on nails? on matters dressing and now dress like skirts. That clingy dress that you are promoted largely based on perception. then all is good with the world.