Page 35 - LUDLOW TOWER FEB 22 (WEBSITE)
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Finding the right Candidate to be
the new vicar
Note from the PCC to the
congregation:
As you know we have been looking for a
new vicar for some months now. It is
proving difficult to find anyone suitable
to interview. Sadly the Bible does not
provide any role models whom we
would really want in our church.
For example: Jeremiah: An alarmist, always lamenting
Adam: Good man but had problems things. Plus, he buried his underwear
with his wife. Also, we hear that he and outside.
his wife enjoyed walking nude in the Isaiah: Claimed to have seen angels
woods. flying in the church.
Noah: Former pastorate of 120 years, Jonah: Says God had him swallowed up
yet with no converts. Also, prone to by a great fish and that later it spit him
unrealistic building projects. out on the shore near here because he
Abraham: Twice offered to share his was called to ministry. We hung up.
own wife with another man. John: Said he was a Baptist, but he
Joseph: Obsessed with the meaning of doesn’t dress like any Baptists we know.
dreams, plus he had a prison record. Has slept outside, eats a weird diet, and
Moses: Modest, but a poor provokes denominational leaders.
communicator, and even stuttered at Peter: Too blue-collar, and too
times. Moreover, he had a temper, and impetuous. Had also been known to
there were rumours he left an earlier curse.
church over a murder charge. Paul: Powerful message, and people
David: Very promising leader, except responded to him, but he had been
that he wrote poetry, and then had an known to preach all night. That would
affair with his neighbour’s wife. never do for us.
Solomon: We suspect he was a bit of Judas: Seems to have been a steady
a wise guy, and anyway our parsonage plodder, with excellent connections.
would never hold all those wives. Knew how to handle money.
Elijah: Prone to depression, and he set We are pleased to say that someone
things on fire. very like him has accepted out invitation
Deborah: Played the tambourine, so to preach this Sunday. We feel that
not at all suitable for us. there are possibilities here.
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