Page 8 - St Barnabas Parish Homerton Summer Magazine 2020

What inspired you to become a hard or unfair, I beg of Him to change
Vicar? Briefly, take us through your the situation, and I sit still and quiet
journey? We feel like you are far with no agenda and in these small
from the traditional, which is what pockets of time I feel calm and at
we love about you the most. peace and know without doubt that
God surrounds me. There are no
I don’t think I was inspired to be revelations of how things will turn out,
ordained………it was more of a Jacob no lightning flashes of triumph or
like wrestle. People kept on asking me thunder bangs of victory. The trouble is
if I’d ever considered or been called to still there it still has to be faced and
be a priest, clergy would hound me endured, but in the middle of it all
and laity look knowingly at me as they stands Jesus, he’s not skirting round
posed the question, and God ….well the edges or popping up now and
God just wouldn’t let go of my collar, it again, he stands in the centre of my
was like he had me by the scruff of my time of anguish and fear. Solid,
neck and was dragging me towards consistent and totally there for me.
ordination. I fought back hard…why Understanding this doesn’t make me
me? What has someone like me got to strong or confident…it just makes me
offer? You see when I looked around believe.
there were lots of white men a few
women but no one from the working Did you have any challenges along
class as vicar. I knew I’d be a fish out the way, being a female Vicar?
of water I knew I’d face prejudices and
rejections so unless it was what God Well yes; I’ve had people and clergy
really wanted, I sure wasn’t going to go of all traditions, deny my priesthood.
jumping into such an alien arena. The hardest though are those that
pretend or are trying to cover their
But funnily enough it was John prejudices by superficially accepting
Sentamu who finally made me take the me as a priest, they tend to say all the
plunge, John was adamant that I right words, but in the wrong way, if
should start the discerning process. you know what I mean. And then
Wrestling with God was one thing there are the people that feel they
wrestling with John was another I have to change the way they are
really didn’t want to take on. So in fear around me; this really saddens me as
and humility I began the journey I’ll never get to know the real you.
towards ordination. You see God
works His purposes out with us, The flip side of this are the people that
through us and despite us. expect me to change around them,
they don’t want me, they just want to
How do you remain strong in faith in be seen with a reverend. These
times of trouble?
challenging situations are the saddest
I can’t meet their expectations, for if
To be honest I don’t think I do remain you really know me, I’m the most
strong, I crumble just like anyone else, irreverent reverend you’ll ever meet!
I scream at God about things being too