Page 217 - creative spark 2020
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            my throat. Emptiness. Suddenly, I felt a flash of pain in my head.
            Then, as if my thoughts were kept in a dam. A dam that came down
            by the words of mere servants. All the thoughts that I had been
            trying to avoid, the ones that were kept at the back of my head, the
            truths that I had been denying drowned me.

                  Trapped in my mind, I finally realized. I knew it all along. All
            of the offering, all the sacrifices, the pain, the suffering that me and
            Luxian had gone through was all because of me. If I had stopped
            Luxian. If I had declined that offer and accepted the law of nature,
            none of this would have happened. I realized that I was full of
            greed. All I ever did was take more and more. Luxian gave me his
            everything and look at how I repaid him. I had not helped him. I had
            not stood by his side when he needed me the most. Luxian, my
            dear Luxian. I know well about your sincere feelings. I know well
            about your childish mind and yet, I stabbed you in the back.
            I betrayed those feelings. I have sinned. I am an abominated. The
            servants were right. They had been right all along. My hands were
            bloodied. I laughed. I screamed at my pitifulness. After all. After all
            the years I lived far from humans, I am still no different.

                  Another thought came across my already crazed psych.
            What if? What if I am gone? Luxian. Luxian may be happy again.
            If I died, these organs, these abilities would return to its rightful
            owner. Luxian would be well again. He would not have to suffer or
            live with such a disgusting creature anymore. I did not deserve him
            and he deserves better. And maybe. Maybe he would accept my
            atonement. Maybe he would forgive me. Yes. That’s right. I spotted
            a dagger on the shelf. It was the one that Luxian got for me when
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