Page 8 - Ohio Family Magazine Aug13

trouble when:
• kids behave in a way they feel conflicted
about or know is wrong in order to please
a leader and stay in the group
• a group becomes an antisocial clique or a
gang that has unhealthy rules, such as
weight loss or bullying others based on
looks, disabilities, race, or ethnicity
• a child is rejected by a group and feels
ostracized and alone
How Parents Can Help
As kids navigate friendships and cliques,
there’s plenty parents can do to offer sup-
port. If your child seems upset, or suddenly
spends time alone when usually very social,
ask about it.
Here are some tips:
Helping Kids Cope With
• Talk about your own experiences.
CLIQUES cliques have been around for a long time!
Share your own experiences of school –
• Help put rejection in perspective.
Remind your child of times he or she has
been angry with parents, friends, or sib-
lings and how quickly things can change.
• Shed some light on social dynamics.
our 10-year-old daughter comes home interests, but the social dynamics are very Acknowledge that people are often
crying because the girls she’s been different. Cliques are usually tightly con- judged by the way a person looks, acts,
Yfriends with are suddenly leaving her out trolled by leaders who decide who is “in”
and spreading rumors about her. She’s con- and who is “out.” The kids in the clique do
fused because it seemed to happen out of the most things together. Someone who has a
blue. She doesn’t know what she did wrong friend outside the clique may face rejection TUSCARAWAS
and is nervous about returning to school, un- or ridicule. DANCE ARTS CENTER
sure if she has any friends. You’re unsure Members of the clique usually follow the
how to help her – you’ve heard a lot about leader’s rules, whether it’s wearing particu- Director Shelly Beitzel
kids being snubbed or teased at school, but lar clothes or doing certain activities. Cliques
you didn’t think it could happen to your out- usually involve lots of rules – implied or
going, fun kid. clearly stated - and intense pressure to fol- FALL DANCE REGISTRATION
Given how common cliques are through- low them. Kids in cliques often worry about Friday Aug. 16th • 5:00 pm - 8:00 pm
out middle and high school, at some point whether they’ll continue to be popular or
your child is likely to face the prospect of whether they’ll be dropped for doing or say- Saturday Aug. 17th• 10:00 am - 2:00 pm
being in one or being excluded from them. ing the wrong thing or for not dressing in a $15 Registration Fee
There’s little you can do to shield kids from certain way. This can create a lot of pressure,
cliques, but plenty you can do to help them particularly for girls, who might be driven to
maintain confidence and self-respect while extreme dieting and eating disorders or even Ballet
negotiating cliques and understanding what to ask for plastic surgery. Others may be Pointe
true friendship is all about. pressured to take risks like steal, pull pranks, Jazz
What’s a Clique? or bully other kids in order to stay in the Hip Hop Acrobatics
clique. Kids also can be pressured into buy-
Friendship is an important part of kids’ ing expensive clothing or getting involved in Tap Baton
development. Having friends helps them be online gossip and teasing. Modern
independent beyond the family and prepares Cliques are often at their most intense in Pre-Dance
them for the mutual, trusting relationships middle school and junior high, but problems Mommy & Me
we hope they’ll establish as adults. with cliques can start as early as 4th and 5th
Groups of friends are different from grades.
cliques in some important ways. Friendships
grow out of shared interests, sports, activi- When Cliques Cause Problems
ties, classes, neighborhoods, or even family For most kids, the pre-teen and teen years
connections. In groups of friends, members are a time to figure out how they want to fit in
are free to socialize and hang out with oth- and how they want to stand out. It’s natural
ers outside the group without worrying about for kids to occasionally feel insecure; long to
being cast out. They may not do everything be accepted; and hang out with the kids who 224 1/2 West 3rd. Street
together - and that’s OK. seem more attractive, cool, or popular.
Cliques sometimes form around common But cliques can cause long-lasting Dover, Ohio 44622 • 330-364-3060
8 OFM • August 2013 www.ohiofamilymagazine.com