Page 9 - Ohio Family Magazine Aug13

or dresses, but that often people act mean and put others down discuss ways to help resolve this.
because they lack self-confidence and try to cover it up by • Keep social circles open and diverse. Encourage kids to be
maintaining control. friends with people they like and enjoy from different back-
• Find stories they can relate to. Many books, TV shows, and grounds, ages, and interests. Model this yourself as much as you
movies portray outsiders triumphing in the face of rejection and can with different ages and types of friends and acquaintances.
send strong messages about the importance of being true to your • Speak out and stand up. If they’re feeling worried or pressured
own nature and the value of being a good friend, even in the face by what’s happening in the cliques, encourage your kids to stand
of difficult social situations. For school-age kids, books like up for themselves or others who are being cast out or bullied.
“Blubber” by Judy Blume illustrate how quickly cliques can Encourage them not to participate in anything that feels wrong,
change. Older kids and teens might relate to movies such as whether it’s a practical joke or talking about people behind
“Mean Girls,” “Angus,” “The Breakfast Club,” and “Clueless.”
their backs.
• Foster out-of-school friendships. Get kids involved in extracur- • Take responsibility for your own actions. Encourage sensitiv-
ricular activities (if they aren’t already) – art class, sports, martial ity to others and not just going along with a group. Remind kids
arts, horse riding, language study – any activity that gives them an that a true friend respects their opinions, interests, and choices, no
opportunity to create another social group and learn new skills. matter how different they are. Acknowledge that it can be difficult
If your child is part of a clique and one of the kids is teasing or to stand out, but that ultimately kids are responsible for what they
rejecting others, it’s important to address that right away. With popu- say and do.
lar TV shows from talent contests to reality Remember to provide the big-
series glorifying rude behavior, it’s an up- picture perspective too. As hard as
hill battle for families to promote kindness, cliques might be to deal with now,
respect, and compassion. things can change quickly. What’s
Discuss the role of power and control more important is making true friends
in friendships and try to get to the heart of – people they can confide in, laugh
why your child feels compelled to be in that with, and trust. And the real secret to
position. Discuss who is in and who is out, being “popular” – in the truest sense of
and what happens when kids are out (are the word – is for them to be the kind of
they ignored, shunned, bullied?). Chal- friend they’d like to have: respectful,
lenge kids to think and talk about whether fair, supportive, caring, trustworthy,
they’re proud of the way they act in school. and kind.
Ask teachers, guidance counselors, or
other school officials for their perspective This information was provided by
on what is going on in and out of class. KidsHealth®. © 1995- 2013. The Nemours
Foundation/KidsHealth®. All rights reserved.
They might be able to tell you about any
programs the school has to address cliques and help kids with differ-
ences get along. FAMILY SHIELD
Encouraging Healthy Friendships
Here are some ways to encourage kids to have healthy friendships FROM IMPACT SECURITY
and not get too caught up in cliques:
• Find the right fit – don’t just fit in. Encourage kids to think • Manage Web access across every device that accesses the Internet
about what they value and are interested in, and how those things on your home or business network. Phones, Ipads, computers etc...
fit in with the group. Ask questions like: What is the main reason
you want to be part of the group? What compromises will you • Secure public/guest wireless networks
have to make? Is it worth it? What would you do if the group • Malicious sites, viruses, malware are blocked at the router level

leader insisted you act mean to other kids or do something you BEFORE reaching your devices.
don’t want to do? When does it change from fun and joking • See what content your kids or employees are viewing with a click of
around, to teasing and bullying? a button!
• Track any user from the server/router level
• Stick to your likes. If your child has always loved to play the FREE
piano but suddenly wants to drop it because it’s deemed “uncool,” • 24/7 phone and e-mail support
Call 1-855-402-SAFE
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www.ohiofamilymagazine.com August 2013 • OFM 9