Page 30 - 1930 October - To Dragma

OCTOBER, 1930 29

J^efs Jfctoe a <^Matriarch Called

tALTJitA 0 To

Alpha 0, we call our town,
The finest one you've been around;
With doctor, lawyer, merchant, chief,
We have no need of male relief.

YES, indeed we could have a town of our own, populated by Alpha
O's, with all the business run by Alpha O's, professional ones and
we wouldn't lack a thing.
Our statistically minded Registrar saw a story in figures when she
checked over the directory cards, and so she forwarded the results
to us. Hence this make-believe!

This town of ours has three apartment houses with its own manager,
just around the corner from our civic center where we find our great
library; sixteen librarians we have there. Then comes our clinic and
hospital. Three nurses, five doctors, a dental hygienist, a chemist,
a dietitian, and a bacteriologist look after those. Across the street
we find our city hall with its matriarchal magistrates. We have thirteen
lawyers to guide us in our Constitution.

Then down the block we find our center of learning, a university
with at least four Deans of women, its nineteen graduate students,
its music school with ten musicians, the dormitory and its manager,
and the vocational counselor. Of course, we have teachers too, there
being 172 of them in our schools. In our church we find three
missionaries. Twelve of our girls are in banks or other business enter-
prises. Four of them are personnel directors, and three are in depart-
ment stores. Five statisticians and fifty-five secretaries attend our
offices.

' Nor are we without the shops which are so important to a town
of real worth. One photographer's studio, one florist, two book shops, a
magazine agency, a drug store with its registered pharmacist fill the
shops in our arcade. Two architects plan our city and our homes; three
stylists see that we look well in our clothes; six girls are our artists,
and fourteen run our newspapers and attend our advertising. A psy-
chologist keeps our minds straight and nine social workers attend our
needs. Four writers supply us with all sorts of books and articles as
well as poems. Two "bums" keep us informed on the world at large.

But what's a town without some home-makers? Oh, yes we have
jnem 262 strong. And then the jolly "do-nothings" keep life merry,
^wo hundred and ninety-one of them teach all of us to play contract

" theatricals.b n g U S t h e n e w s o f P a r i s a s w e l 1 a s a m a t e u r
Why don't you come to live in Alpha O town next time directory
cards go round?