Page 173 - SHERLOCK transcripts

172

(Floating at the edge of the stream is the most unlikely item you’d ever expect to see – a
boomerang.)
IRENE: An accomplished sportsman recently returned from foreign travel with ... a boomerang.
You got that from one look? Definitely the new sexy.
(She turns and smiles at Sherlock.)
SHERLOCK (vaguely): I ...
(He blinks, looking around in confusion.)
SHERLOCK: I ...
(Behind him, a bed rises up to meet him. The angle changes and he sinks down onto the bed
and a sheet rises up to wrap around him. His eyes close.)
IRENE (softly): Hush now.
(She leans down over him. Sherlock’s fuzzy view of her shows that she’s no longer in the field
but inside a room.)
IRENE: It’s okay. I’m only returning your coat.
(She leans closer towards him, then fades out. Sherlock jerks back into consciousness and finds
himself alone and in bed in his own bedroom, fully clothed and covered with a sheet. He lifts his
head.)
SHERLOCK: John?
(He shakes his head, trying to clear it.)
SHERLOCK (louder): John!
(In the living room, John looks round. Sherlock throws the sheet off and kneels up on the bed,
then promptly loses his balance, falls forward and rolls over the foot of the bed and onto the
floor. John opens the bedroom door and comes in as he sits up.)
JOHN: You okay?
SHERLOCK: How did I get here?
JOHN: Well, I don’t suppose you remember much. You weren’t making a lot of sense. Oh, I
should warn you: I think Lestrade filmed you on his phone.
SHERLOCK (getting to his feet): Where is she?
JOHN: Where’s who?
SHERLOCK: The woman. That woman.
JOHN: What woman?
SHERLOCK (stumbling around the room aimlessly): The woman. The woman woman!
JOHN: What, Irene Adler? She got away. No-one saw her.
(Sherlock stumbles over to the open window and looks through it.)
JOHN: She wasn’t here, Sherlock.
(Turning around, Sherlock either falls down again or deliberately drops to the floor – it’s not
clear which. While he’s down there he drags himself across the floor and peers under the bed as
if looking to see whether Irene is hiding under there, then he squints around as if checking that
she’s not hidden under or behind the wardrobe.)
JOHN: What are you ...? What ...? No, no, no, no.
(He hauls Sherlock up and drops him face-down onto the bed.)
JOHN: Back to bed. (He covers him over with the sheet again.) You’ll be fine in the morning.
Just sleep.
SHERLOCK (blurrily): Of course I’ll be fine. I am fine. I’m absolutely fine.
JOHN: Yes, you’re great. Now I’ll be next door if you need me.
SHERLOCK (fuzzily): Why would I need you?
JOHN: No reason at all.
(He walks out of the room shutting the door behind him. Sherlock’s coat is hanging on the back
of the door. A few moments later his pocket lights up as his phone activates and an orgasmic
female sigh comes from the speaker. Sherlock opens his eyes and sits up, looking blearily
across to his coat. Frowning at it as if realising that it can only have been returned by Irene, he
gets out of bed and wobbles across the floor towards it, losing his balance a couple of times en
route but managing to stay on his feet. Finally he gets to the door and takes the phone out of
his pocket. Bracing himself against the wall he activates the phone. A new text message reads:

Till the next time, Mr. Holmes

Sherlock peers at it for a long moment and then looks around suspiciously, totally oblivious to
the fact that the most suspicious thing in the room is the red kiss-shaped lipstick mark just to
the left of his mouth.)

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)