Page 298 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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SHERLOCK: No, Mycroft, but you have to trust me. I’ll find the answer. It’ll be in an odd phrase
in an online blog, or an unexpected trip to the countryside, or a misplaced Lonely Hearts ad.
(He had only glanced down briefly before speaking, but out of view there’s a slight click as he
moves his piece.)
SHERLOCK: Your move.
(Mycroft glances down briefly before raising his eyes to Sherlock’s again.)
MYCROFT: I’ve given the Prime Minister my personal assurance you’re on the case.
SHERLOCK: I am on the case. We’re both on the case. Look at us right now.
(On the table in between them, there’s a loud buzzing and a red light flashes.)
MYCROFT: Oh, bugger!
(He angrily drops the small tweezers he was using in their game of “Operation.” We realise that
a clever perspective shot had lured us into believing they were playing chess, but the chess set
is actually on the coffee table in front of the sofa.)
[More details about “Operation” here if you need them; and then do check out Redscharlach’s
hilarious “Sherloperation”!]
SHERLOCK: Oopsie!
(Mycroft returns the piece to the board.)
SHERLOCK (looking at which piece Mycroft had failed to remove successfully): Can’t handle a
broken heart – how very telling.
(Looking smug, he sits back in his chair and crosses his legs.)
MYCROFT: Don’t be smart.
SHERLOCK: That takes me back. (In a little boy’s voice) “Don’t be smart, Sherlock. I’m the
smart one.”
MYCROFT (glowering at him): I am the smart one.
(Sherlock looks off to the side reflectively.)
SHERLOCK: I used to think I was an idiot.
MYCROFT: Both of us thought you were an idiot, Sherlock. We had nothing else to go on ’til we
met other children.
SHERLOCK: Oh, yes. That was a mistake.
MYCROFT: Ghastly. What were they thinking of?
SHERLOCK: Probably something about trying to make friends.
MYCROFT: Oh yes. Friends. Of course, you go in for that sort of thing now.
SHERLOCK (looking at him closely): And you don’t? Ever?
MYCROFT: If you seem slow to me, Sherlock, can you imagine what real people are like? I’m
living in a world of goldfish.
(Sherlock steeples his fingers in front of him and looks at his brother.)
SHERLOCK: Yes, but I’ve been away for two years.
MYCROFT: So?
SHERLOCK (shrugging): Oh, I don’t know. I thought perhaps you might have found yourself a
... goldfish.
MYCROFT (looking appalled): Change the subject – now!
(He stands up and walks over to the fireplace.)
SHERLOCK: Rest assured, Mycroft – whatever this underground network of yours is up to, the
secret will reside in something seemingly insignificant or bizarre.
(Mrs Hudson, carrying a tray of tea things, walks into the room with her traditional “Ooh-ooh!”)
MYCROFT: Speaking of which ...
(Sherlock smiles.)
MRS HUDSON (happily, putting the tray on the dining table): I can’t believe it. I just can’t
believe it! Him – sitting in his chair again!
(She looks at Mycroft.)
MRS HUDSON: Oh, isn’t it wonderful, Mr Holmes?
MYCROFT: I can barely contain myself(!)
SHERLOCK: Oh, he really can, you know.
MRS HUDSON: He’s secretly pleased to see you underneath all that ... (she pulls a sour face).
MYCROFT: Sorry – which of us?
MRS HUDSON: Both of you.
(She leaves the room.)
SHERLOCK: Let’s play something different.
MYCROFT (with an exasperated sigh): Why are we playing games?
SHERLOCK: Well, London’s terror alert has been raised to Critical. (He flails his legs over the
table in front of him and stands up.) I’m just passing the time. Let’s do deductions.

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)