Page 433 - SHERLOCK transcripts

432

Inside the room, the man is still thrashing the corpse with his back to Stamford and Watson as
they walk in.)
STAMFORD (loudly): Excuse me!
(The man flogs the corpse even faster.)
WATSON (loudly): I do hope we’re not interrupting.
(Giving the corpse one last violent lash, the man blows out a breath and turns, and we see that
this is Sherlock Holmes. He quickly looks down the length of Watson’s body.)
HOLMES: You’ve been in Afghanistan, I perceive. (He turns away, reaching into his waistcoat
for his pocket watch.)
STAMFORD: Doctor Watson, Mr Sherlock ...
(Looking down at his watch and without turning round, Holmes tosses his walking stick towards
Watson, who instinctively reaches out and catches it.)
HOLMES (turning back again): Excellent reflexes. (He smiles falsely at Watson while putting his
watch back into his pocket.) You’ll do.
WATSON: I’m sorry?
HOLMES: I have my eye on a suite of rooms near Regent’s Park. Between us we could afford
them.
WATSON: Rooms? (He glances briefly at Stamford.) Who said anything about rooms?
HOLMES (quick fire): I did. I mentioned to Stamford this morning I was in need of a fellow
lodger. Now he appears after lunch in the company of a man of military aspect with a tan and
recent injury, both suggestive of the campaign in Afghanistan and an enforced departure from
it. (He finally takes a quick breath.) The conclusion seemed inescapable.
(He flicks a quick glance at Watson and then lowers his eyes with a small self-satisfied smile.)
HOLMES (pulling in a longer breath): We’ll finalise the details tomorrow evening.
(He walks towards the other two, forcing them to step aside as he walks in between them,
taking his walking stick from Watson as he passes.)
HOLMES: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a hanging in Wandsworth and I’d hate them to start
without me.
(He takes his coat from a nearby stand and starts to put it on.)
WATSON: A hanging?
HOLMES: I take a professional interest. I also play the violin and smoke a pipe. I presume that’s
not a problem?
WATSON: Er, no, well ...
HOLMES (taking his hat from the stand and smiling at Watson): And you’re clearly acclimatised
to never getting to the end of a sentence. We’ll get along splendidly. Tomorrow evening, seven
o’clock, then.
(He starts to turn away, then turns back.)
HOLMES: Oh, and the name is Sherlock Holmes and the address is two hundred and twenty-one
B Baker Street.
(He puts on his hat, then turns and walks away.)
STAMFORD (to Watson): Yes. He’s always been like that.

NEW OPENING (VICTORIAN) TITLES (with a Victorian twist to the theme tune).

Close-up on an issue of The Strand Magazine. Nearby, a news vendor is calling out to the
passing pedestrians. He is holding newspapers and another copy of The Strand with a small red
sleeve around it on which are the words “SHERLOCK HOLMES” and an in-profile white silhouette
of the detective. Offscreen, carollers can be heard singing “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.”
NEWS VENDOR: Papers! Papers!
(A hansom cab approaches along the street.)
NEWS VENDOR: Papers! Papers!
(The cab slows down as Watson leans out of the window a little and gestures to attract the
attention of the vendor.)
WATSON: Here.
(The cab stops.)
WATSON: How’s ‘The Blue Carbuncle’ doing?
NEWS VENDOR: Very popular, Doctor Watson. Is there gonna be a proper murder next time?
WATSON: I’ll have a word with the criminal classes.
NEWS VENDOR: If you wouldn’t mind.
(He points towards the figure sitting next to Watson.)
NEWS VENDOR: Is that ’im? Is ’e in there?

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)