Page 436 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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HOLMES: Enough!
(The others fall silent and look at him. He doesn’t turn round.)
HOLMES (softly): The stage is set, and the curtain rises. We are ready to begin.
MRS WATSON: Begin what?
HOLMES: Sometimes, to solve a case, one must first solve another.
WATSON: Oh, you have a case, then, a new one?
HOLMES (softly): An old one. Very old. I shall have to go deep.
WATSON: Deep? Into what?
HOLMES (softly): Myself.
(He gazes out of the window for a moment longer, then turns and calls over his shoulder.)
HOLMES: Lestrade! Do stop loitering by the door and come in.
(The door to the sitting room opens and Inspector Lestrade comes in, breathing heavily and
looking anxious. He glances towards the table in between the windows before looking towards
the people near the fireplace.)
LESTRADE: How did you know it was me?
HOLMES (going across to his chair and sitting down): The regulation tread is unmistakeable;
lighter than Jones, heavier than Gregson.
LESTRADE (stuttering): I-I-I just came up. Mrs Hudson didn’t seem to be talking.
(Rolling his eyes, Holmes reaches towards a Turkish slipper on the table beside his chair and
takes out some tobacco to fill his pipe.)
HOLMES: I fear she’s branched into literary criticism by means of satire. It is a distressing trend
in the modern landlady. What brings you here in your off-duty hours?
(Lestrade glances to his right, then looks back at Holmes.)
LESTRADE: How’d you know I’m off-duty?
HOLMES: Well, since your arrival you’ve addressed over forty percent of your remarks to my
decanter.
(He points to the table between the windows, on which is a silver tray holding various bottles
and glasses, including a whisky decanter.)
HOLMES: Watson, give the inspector what he so clearly wants.
(Watson walks across the room while Lestrade takes off his hat. Watson picks up the decanter
and pours a drink.)
WATSON: So, Lestrade, what can we do for you?
LESTRADE: Oh, I’m not here on business. I just thought I’d ... drop by.
WATSON: A social call? (He walks over and hands Lestrade the glass.)
LESTRADE: Yeah, of course, just to wish you the compliments of the season.
(Holmes takes his pipe from his mouth and looks pointedly at the inspector. Lestrade looks at
him a little nervously and then raises his glass, looking across to Mary.)
LESTRADE: Merry Christmas?
HOLMES: Merry Christmas.
WATSON: Merry Christmas.
MRS WATSON: Merry Christmas.
HOLMES: Thank God that’s over. Now, Inspector, what strange happening compels you to my
door but embarrasses you to relate?
(Lestrade has taken a long drink from his glass and now closes his eyes before shaking his head
and opening his eyes again.)
LESTRADE: Who said anything happened?
HOLMES: You did, by every means short of actual speech.
(Lestrade drinks deeply and then sighs with relief.)
WATSON (raising a finger): Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, Holmes? You have misdiagnosed.
HOLMES (smiling): Then correct me, Doctor.
WATSON: He didn’t want a drink ... (he takes the glass from Lestrade and turns it upside down
to show that it is empty) ... he needed one. He’s not embarrassed; he’s afraid.
(Lestrade looks down, putting his gloved hand to his mouth and looking anxious. Holmes
smirks.)
HOLMES: My Boswell is learning. They do grow up so fast.
(He looks up at Mary, who smiles at him.)
HOLMES: Watson, restore the courage of Scotland Yard.
(Watson takes the glass back over to the table.)
HOLMES: Inspector, do sit down.
(He gestures to the dining chair with his pipe and picks up a match.)

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)