Page 23 - Healthy (March - April 2020)

BODY CONFIDENCE

others see a change as an improvement but
comments about it can be signiicantly impactful.
We should never assume a person sees things the
same way we do, and we never know how much of
a person’s identity was tied in to how they looked
before – regardless of what the change is.’
When body shape – whether you’ve gained
weight it or lost it – triggers negative body image
or a disconnect, it can make seeing the naked self
stressful, but research by social psychologist Dr
Keon West found that mirror exposure therapy,
where people spend time looking at themselves,
can reduce body anxiety.
And if you’re in the process of changing your
weight – drawing attention to your appearance
– reframe the narrative. ‘It’s important for people
to own who they are, but also to do things that
are good for themselves because they love
themselves. So if you’re exercising because it
makes you feel good, and not to please others,
that’s an act of self-love,’ says Zarroug.
Devon also recommends changing up your
social media feeds. ‘Diversifying shows us a whole
range of people and helps us see the real normal.’
She also recommends a tip from The Kindness
Method (Bluebird, £9.35). ‘The author, Shahroo
Izadi, suggests you live how you would if you
looked exactly like you want to, thinking
how you would move, act and feel – and
then just mimic that.’

BECOMING BODY
POSITIVE… WITH
A NEW PARTNER
There’s something uniquely exposing
about inding a new partner. ‘It’s especially
true if you go into dating anticipating
rejection,’ says Zarroug. ‘If you’re already
thinking you’re not sexy or lovable, you
can distance yourself from people to
avoid that pain.’ Meghan Dickson*, 35,
from London, relied on internet dating
to help her meet new people after her
divorce. ‘I set the bar for men really low
I looked how I wanted when I was because I felt a bit overweight and convinced
dressed, seeing myself naked in myself no one I liked would ind me attractive.
the mirror was unsettling. Like I was terriied of being rejected,’ she says.
I was looking at someone else. ‘Unsurprisingly, I didn’t fancy any of the men
My body moved in diferent ways I met and it must have shown because I rarely got
– on the one hand, my thighs were a second date. The whole process was depressing.’
irmer, but my breasts felt looser and Zarroug sees clients whose body image has
if my stomach was bloated, it was more directly afected their sexual conidence. ‘It can
obvious than before.’ When friends told Jennifer feel much tougher to love yourself, and this is
she looked better, ‘it actually made me feel more why I tell clients to speak to themselves as they
self-conscious because people were looking at my would a friend or loved one – to be kind and
body and noticing change.’ supportive, and see how diferent it feels.’
Clinical psychologist Dr Helen Care sees this Your real friends can help here, too, and some
reaction in her patients. ‘There are times where advice from a trusted pal set Meghan on a new

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