Page 55 - Motorcycle Trader (February 2020)

An important sub-category in ‘where should I eat?’ is
‘what type of café am I sitting in?’
The first type of café is the hipster haunt. These
are usually located in inner-city areas, but they’ve
been creeping outwards of late and could well be
encountered if you suddenly find yourself on an
‘unexpected mid-ride hunger’ ride. There are a couple
of telltales to look for.
First tell-tale? Beards. Cafés frequented by bikers
usually have a higher than normal beard count, but a
hipster haunt will knock this into a cocked hat without
breaking a sweat.
Second tell-tale? Food. If your cappuccino is
delivered in a mason jar then you could be in trouble.
If your seafood basket and chips consists of nothing
more than a trawl net, a single-
origin fishing rod, and a potato Much like
with more eyes that the East roo roadkill
German Stasi you’ve fallen
RIGHT Garry McCoy’s and
cafe in Cooyar, about down the rabbit hole proper.
an hour’s ride north My advice? Run. untruthful
of Toowoomba, is The second type of café is
full of motorcycling the hip café. These are similar politicians,
paraphernalia.
Does a slider have to but far more widespread these
a new meaning for than hipster haunts with a cafés are
Garry? Ask him... couple of fairly important

differences. The sleeve tattoo everywhere
count is about the same, the
beard count is generally lower, but the facial piercing
count can be considerably higher. Also, your coffee
usually turns up in a real mug and the food is on
plates, not an old shingle or an artisanal banana leaf.
The third type of café is the most common one –
the standard café. This has a standard café menu
serving standard café food. Much like roo roadkill and
untruthful politicians, these cafés are everywhere.
The fourth type of café is the celebrity-owned
eatery. These can be a bit hit and miss to be honest.
Years ago, I had a meal at Strop’s old pub in Byron
Bay and for what I paid for it the meal was a bit of a
disappointment. I recently had lunch at famed racer
Garry McCoy’s café in Cooyar and the food was well
priced and delicious.
The last type is the Throwback Thursday café. You
usually only find these in one-horse towns where the
horse isn’t particularly discerning. All you need to
know about these cafés is listed in the first paragraph.

MOTORCYCLE TRADER 55