Page 52 - Girl's Life (August - September 2019)

Dear Carol

Dear My Life Is a Cliché, said his hands were cold and
Don’t ask him. He may not be sure of how asked me to warm them up.
he feels—and he may not be ready for a Today, he said he was giving out
girlfriend. Perhaps you and your friend free hugs and gave me a hug.
can agree ahead of time that no matter I just feel so awkward around
what happens, you’ll always prioritize him. How do I tell him I don’t
each other and stay close. You also can want him to touch me?
make an effort to talk about other things
besides this guy. Dear Touchy Touchy,
If you don’t want him to touch you,

CONFUSED he doesn’t get to touch you. Your
AROUND GUYS friendship might have an awkward
period, but tough luck—it’s still
I don’t know how to approach guys. hands-off for him. Often, guys (or
I have a hard time being subtle, and girls) get the message fairly quickly
I always end up telling people who that a crush is one-sided—and that
I like—then they go tell everyone. beats a heart-to-heart in which
What do you even say to guys? Some- you have to spell out the bad
times, I think all the guys my age are news. But if ever someone is more
just too stupid to take a hint. touchy-feely than you want, it’s
TOUCHY TOUCHY absolutely OK to say, “Hey, hey, a little
Dear Confused Around Guys, This boy I met this year is nice and a space, please.” Or, “Your hands are cold?
Baby steps. Instead of telling a guy you good friend, but lately he has been Rub them together.” Or even something
like him or openly flirting, try talking with acting really weird around me. I have more direct like, “Please don’t touch me
guys the way you talk with girls. “How was been told he likes me, which may be like that.” If he seems upset or things
your summer?” “Have you read anything true as he does random things to get stay weird, maybe he’s not as good of a
good lately?” “Do you know this band?” me to touch him. Like yesterday he friend—or a guy—as you thought.
“Did you check out that new gallery in LUXY IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES
town?” “Have you seen that new movie?”
Once you find something (anything!) to
talk about, you can slowly get to know she did not abandon you— she just
people. So while it’s one thing to think a started going to a different school. Don’t Dear Soul Mates,
guy is cute, it takes longer to decide that I don’t want to yuck your yum, but looking
he’s someone you would want to spend hesitate to be the one to text her, or since cute together doesn’t make you soul
time with—or kiss. Don’t worry, all this she lives nearby, maybe even stop by and mates. Feeling tongue-tied is normal for
gets easier. And sometimes everything knock on her door. Summer might be a new couples—and it should help that he
can change with one smile. great time to try to reconnect. Rather knows that no matter what he says, you
than waiting for someone else to start a are going to laugh or nod or do your part
BEST FRIENDS conversation, you can be the one to get to keep the conversation going. You also
the ball rolling again. A quick, “How’s it
So I have this good friend I’ve known going?” may be all it takes. can think up questions that go deeper:
What’s the most interesting place you’ve
since kindergarten. She went to ever been to? What do you think of the
another middle school, leaving me
alone. I made new friends and we SOUL MATES candidates so far? He may open up—or
kept in touch, and she only lives My boyfriend and I are like soul you may tire of making all the effort. My
seven blocks away. But I don’t like mates. We have the sweetest text advice is to enjoy the rest of the summer
to start conversations, and it gets convos, look cute together and love together and ease up on the pressure to
awkward fast. One day she stopped being around each other. So what’s find your soul mate.
texting me, and I’m so confused. Is the problem? He isn’t that much of
there something wrong with me? a talker. He just answers with a “ya” Carol Weston’s novel Speed of Life is a
or “no,” and then we end up sitting year in the life of a teen who reaches out
Dear Best Friends, there awkwardly. How can I get him to an advice columnist during a tough
Not at all! We all feel awkward and to talk more so that part of our rela- time. Follow Carol on Instagram (@carol-
self-conscious at times, not just you. And tionship is as good as the rest of it? westonnyc) and visit carolweston.com.

48 GL AUGUST | SEPTEMBER 2019