Page 111 - Classic Rock (January 2020)

REVIEWS

‘I assumed you had to be
a ‘nut-class’ Kiss freak…
Boy was I wrong.’

Anchors away! Kiss (plus ...and in full-on
a few friends) in civvies… Kisstastic costume.

Kiss Kruise

Miami, Bahamas, Jamaica

Five days of round-the-clock, all-the-way-to-11 fun with Team Kiss.

Before I arrived on board the Norwegian Pearl only can Gene flick a plectrum more than
– a 93,000-ton ‘Jewel-class’ cruise ship that 100 yards, he can do it while firing off half
looks like a major city block gliding through the ocean a dozen more like bullets?
– for the start of the five-day-crazy-night Kiss Kruise, Or maybe back to Paul on the final
I assumed you had to be a ‘nut-class’ Kiss freak to night for his bedtime story: an hour of
willingly submit yourself to such a potentially mind- Bugs Bunny cartoons, a spontaneous Q&A
mangling thing. Boy was I wrong. with all the kids in the audience, plus
It didn’t matter who you were – whatever age, some of the more adult-sized kids, before actually The second and third Kiss shows were at the
ethnicity, gender – if you like the idea of mostly sitting there in his pyjamas while he read us a story. Stardust, and these were full-dress, full-on Kisstastic
innocent 24-hour f-u-n, then this, my friends, was With ‘us’ also required to wear pyjamas. shows that featured an array of different material,
the place to be. Still not interested? Then how about the all-night ensuring you really did have to see both. For me, that
Where to begin? With the eight restaurants, with casino? Or the live shows on the pool deck that went meant unashamed fist-in-the-air romps through Crazy,
the God-knows how many bars and cafes spread over on till 2am? (You haven’t lived the rock star life until Crazy Nights and God Gave Rock’n’Roll To You II, plus
the 12 public decks? With the bands playing multiple you’ve watched Steven Adler lead his band through full-on-tongues versions of Kiss Klassics like Cold Gin,
sets, including three from Kiss, and featuring – deep Mr Brownstone while you’re tits-deep in a Jacuzzi, Christine Sixteen and Detroit Rock City. You could swim
breath – The Darkness, Warrant, Steven Adler, the sipping a frozen pineapple margarita.) Or the massive, through the confetti at the end and many of us had to.
New Roses, the Dead Deads, several others, plus ship-wide Halloween party on the second night, where The Darkness deserve a special mention too. Justin
ultra-brill Queen tribute act Simply Queen? All of the freaks already dressed as Kiss dressed up like freaks Hawkins looked like he was dressed for his own
whom were on-demand fantastic? dressed as Kiss dressed as horny nurses, Walking Dead personal Halloween-meets-Joker party, while the rest
Or maybe the Gene Simmons Q&A, where he guys and stuff? Or the fancy day trips to the islands? of the band strutted and strolled and shimmied and
discussed his recent kidney operation, in which 15 Wait… Did I mention there were trips to islands? molled through their greatest hits and bits.
kidney stones were removed, which he is of course Skipping off the ship five days later, my main And there was Warrant. Come on! Who doesn’t like
now putting up for sale on eBay – money from which memories were of the three Kiss shows. The first, Cherry Pie done by a band so synonymous with the 80s
will all go to charity. Or maybe the Paul Stanley art a ‘sail-away’ performance at 5.30pm on the pool deck, they should give away free Filofaxes at their shows?
class, which he gave from the stage of the Stardust during which an unmasked, largely unplugged and Oh, and the islands. Well, the ship sailed from
Theater. That’s right, laptops, easels, smocks, and totally fun-tuned Kiss played a near-90-minute set on Miami down to the Bahamas, where we spent a hot
a non-stop repartee with the audience in which they a slowly revolving stage. When halfway through they afternoon on a private beach. Two days later it was
not only learned some useful painterly techniques but brought up Bruce Kulick to join them, sailing through Jamaica. Except some of us didn’t make that one as we
WILL BYINGTON also how genuinely funny Paul can be when talking to Kulick-era gems like Domino and Every Time I Look At were passed out on our ninth-deck cabin balcony. But
people? Or maybe back to Gene another afternoon for
that’s okay, because we’ll be back next year.
You, plus some non-Kulick era numbers like She and
Shandi, the fun-o-meter hit overdrive.
Mick Wall
his pick-flicking master class. Did you know that not
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