Page 84 - Parents Magazine (December 2019)

YOUÑRea l Ta l k
WITH ONE ARM wrapped around his
7-year-old daughter, Arrow, and the
other pulling a wagon that carries his
2-year-old twins, Gia and Coco, Dan
Reynolds is the picture of suburban
fatherhood. He’s also the magnetic lead
vocalist of Imagine Dragons, a band
with a Grammy to its name and
multiple top ten singles, including the
2012 anthem “Radioactive” and 2017’s
pump-up jam “Thunder” and paean
to pain “Believer.” But at home, in
Las Vegas, with his children and
his wife, singer-songwriter Aja
Volkman, the 32-year-old crooner
is calm and contemplative. He
much gratitude
has big hopes and dreams not
just for his career and his family
but for humanity.
Reynolds grew up in Nevada as
a Mormon but began to struggle
with his religion after he returned
from his mission. While he’s still
a member of the church, he now
questions some of its doctrine and
has fought to change it. In 2017, he
invited other musicians to perform
in a fund-raising concert that he
dubbed LoveLoud. The event, now
in its third year, aims to help the
Mormon community love, support,
understand, accept, and celebrate
LGBTQ+ friends and family.
Weeks before the October 1
birth of their son, Valentine, I sat
down with Dan and Aja for a
deeply personal conversation about
their relationship, their work,
parenthood, and their quest to
spread love, kindness, and healing.
LIZ: Let’s start at the beginning.
How did you meet?
DAN: Nearly ten years ago, Imagine
Dragons opened for her band, Nico Vega.
AJA: This blond ray of sunshine bounced
up to me, and one of the first questions
out of his mouth was, “What do you
think happens after this life?”
DAN: She was like, “Let’s sit down
and talk.”
AJA: I think we were the only two sober
people in the club. He’s Mormon, and I
was burned out on party life.
DAN: I wasn’t trying to impress her,
but her lyrics were very existential. We
stayed up all night talking.
P A R E N T S 82 D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 9
LIZ: Instant connection.
AJA: Except there was a lot more to it.
He’s from an extremely religious family.
I had a really strong LGBTQ friend base.
To my best friends, Dan represented
everything that, at the time, kept them
from getting married themselves.
DAN: On paper, we could not be together.
But music helped Aja and me stick it out.
I’d create half a song and email it to her,
and she’d write her response. The songs
were about how we could not be together
but couldn’t be apart either.
“I have so
because I
learned to be
fearless,”
Volkman says.
LIZ: This is so romantic.
DAN: My mom was like, “You can’t marry
someone who’s not Mormon.”
AJA: But they liked me. I felt comfortable
with his family—they’re angelic. I
converted. We got married in a chapel
and, a year later, married in the temple.
I was not this transparent Mormon girl,
but I am spiritual. My parents raised
me to forge my own belief structure.
DAN: That was a foreign concept to me.
I tend to be all in or out. So when I met
Aja, it was good for me to learn that I
could respect my culture but have my
own version.
AJA: That’s called agency, and though it’s
what most people preach, not all practice
it. Also, I should add that Dan has an
incredible moral compass. He knows
what’s right and wrong.
LIZ: You understand each other.
DAN: And that naturally turned into our
philanthropy. We hold LoveLoud in
Utah, in a very Mormon community, to
open hearts to LGBTQ youth.
AJA: People come up to us and say, “This
has meant the world to me.”
DAN: We meet parents who say, “My
child came out to me because of
LoveLoud, and now our family is
stronger.” That feels incredible.
LIZ: How does this all play
out in raising your kids?
AJA: We want them to understand
that everybody believes
something different. But we’re
the same inside. That’s our
common thread.
DAN: Our concern is that they’re
good people who are mentally
and physically healthy.
AJA: And we think a lot about
how to give back what we have.
ADULTS’ WARDROBE STYLING BY SARAH SCHUSSHEIM FOR THE WALL GROUP. CHILDREN’S WARDROBE STYLING BY VERONICA ALVERICCI FOR ART DEPARTMENT. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY TRACY MOYER FOR THE REX AGENCY. MANICURES BY SAUNDREA GRIFFIN FOR THE ONE LUV AGENCY. PROP AND SET STYLING BY NAOMI GOSS. CHILD WRANGLING BY IAN McDAVID. PREVIOUS SPREAD, LEFT PAGE, ON AJA: DRESS, ISABEL MARANT. ON DAN: SHIRT, J.CREW. PANTS, CITIZENS OF HUMANITY. RIGHT PAGE, ON ARROW: OVERALLS, THE ANIMALS OBSER
LIZ: You started your family
right away.
AJA: Arrow was born a little over
a year after we were married,
when Imagine Dragons got big
seven years ago.
DAN: I was dealing with serious
depression. My therapist asked,
“Has anything changed?” I was
like, “I just got married. Just had a
baby. I’ve been going through an
existential crisis. My band just blew up
and we’re on tour. I’m supposed to be gone
for the next year.”
AJA: I started making less music and
grappling with who I am and who
I used to be. That’s the beauty and the
hard part of parenting. How do you
harmoniously raise children and be a
creative artist?
LIZ: The working-parent dilemma.
AJA: I sacrificed so many things, he was
away, and we both had an identity crisis.
Neither of us could feel fully committed
to playing music or being a parent.
DAN: I was thinking, “What am I living
for? What am I grounded to?” I had been