Page 81 - All About History - Issue 29-15

The secret life of Victoria

“His influence on her was so great that VICTORIAN COURTSHIP

Victoria’s household began to call her
Mrs Brown behind her back”

Decisions would most often be made by him and a result, many historians have labelled the queen
he would agonise over them, his political mind a “domestic tyrant” who controlled her offspring
working overtime trying to come up with the in the same tight, demanding way that she herself
perfect solution. He wanted to be everything to had been brought up. She may have been hands-
the queen: the sole confidential adviser in politics, on, as was Albert, but she would also scold and
the private secretary and the permanent minister beat them. Helen Rappaport, author of Magnificent
among many. Deep down, what he really Obsession,saysVictoriaandAlbertwere
wanted was to be king. “pretty awful parents.”
But there is no doubt there was Evenso,thequeenfeltitwas
great love between the two. It may importantforthechildrento The upper echelons of
not have been domestic bliss, VICTORIA’S spendasmuchtimewiththeir societyabidedbycertain
but neither was it an arranged parents as possible. And with rulesofetiquettewhenit
marriage: Victoria had asked SECRETS so much to deal with – her
Albert to marry her precisely Duringthewarsof many children to manage, her wastimetofindapartner
because she adored him. Yet German Unification, affection for her husband and
on whether there was the Princess Vicky the strains of her duties – she Gotoaball
same love for her children, identified with could perhaps be forgiven for Young Victorian women will
historians are split. Prussia’s cause feeling exhausted, stroppy and 1 make themselves officially
available, typically by attending
Biographer Julia Baird says temperamental at times. a dance or a ball. An older
Victoria’s diary entries in the Whenever Albert was away, chaperone will maintain a
1840s and 1850s “reveal a mother Victoria pined for him. When he was watchfuleyewhilepotentialsuitorsexpress
who delighted in her children with a marked around and wasn’t giving her his full attention, interest in a dance. The woman will select the
tenderness.” But there are plenty of entries in she could fly off the handle at the drop of a hat. most suitable.
her journals to suggest she was unhappy being Albert would carefully steer her and tell her what
a mother. Victoria made no secret of her dislike to say and what to write. He believed Victoria Talk and walk
for breastfeeding, employing a wet nurse for such to be intellectually inferior to him, and she was Onceapotentialmatchis
found, the courtship can begin.
duties. She also preferred time spent being intimate subservient. She expected her offspring to show 2 Suitorswillhavea(cleanand
with her husband than play with her children. As the same level of obedience she showed to him. proper) conversation under the
watchful eye of the chaperone,
Until she was married to Albert in but physical contact is forbidden. All being
1840, by social convention the queen well, the couple may take a walk together.
was required to live with her mother
Be flirtatious
It is perfectly acceptable for
3 excessively so. It is also
some flirtation, but not
important for the man to be
accepted by the woman’s
parents – this is usually helped by a man being
deemed financially ready for marriage.

Keep company
If the couple want to continue
4 company’. Further chaperoned
seeing each other, they ‘keep
dates will take place, again
without any physical contact.
Love letters will be written and gifts, including
locks of hair, can be exchanged. Women
should keep a diary.
Get engaged
The man may propose. There
5 is no backing out of
engagements, but it allows for
unchaperoned dates. Providing
the suitors are of the same
class and at least aged 12 for females or 14 for
males, a marriage can go ahead.
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