Page 10 - PC Gamer - UK (February 2020)

NEWS | OPINION | DEVELOPMENT

The Spy

talking about the end of the decade, somebody will,
without fail, appear with a “well, actually” of fedoran
magnitude. The claim is this: “Well, actually, the new
decade doesn’t start until 2021”.
BUT WHO WATCHE S THE SPY? If this is to be believed, then the first year of the ’90s

was not in fact 1990. Which, given that Pearl Jam didn’t
release Ten until 1991, might not be as ridiculous as it
initially sounds. The reason for the claim – and a blatantly
SEO-tailored article published by Farmers’ Almanac
agrees – is that, because there was never a year 0 AD, all
decades should be measured from the year 1 AD. If you’re
nodding along to this reasoning, The Spy would advise
he Spy was all set to come you to knock it off. Despite the historical context, the
storming into this page with a whole thing is absurd.
classic intro; a real barnburner of The 1 AD explanation would only apply if we used
an opening statement that would ordinal numbering when measuring decades. Clearly we
have at once undermined and don’t, though, as we refer to each ten-year period by a
reinforced the idea of dividing specific prefix. The ’80s, for example, can only ever refer
time into distinct ten-year chunks. to the years 1980 through 1989, because – and The Spy
By the end – after a brief detour to despairs that this even needs explaining – they are the
talk about how a French website ones with the eight in them. To put it another way, the
eard of is claiming that a sequel to whole thing only works because society believes in it too
A Plague Tale: Innocence will be released in 2022 – The hard, much like the economy or Ninja’s fame. And just like
Spy would have deftly circled back around to spin a both of those things, it can change, too.
conclusion that nonetheless reprised a few key themes
into an unexpected message of hope. CRACKING NEW DECADE
On an unrelated note, The Spy can’t find a single source
And sure, you’d have chuckled and moved on – there’s an for the Plague Tale 2 rumour outside of the
article about pinball over the page – but then, in a quiet, aforementioned French site XboxSquad, who themselves
unexpected moment, The Spy’s words would return to do not show their working.
linger briefly on your mind. And, unbeknown to you, The “Aha, The Spy,” you realise, “I have caught you in a trap
Spy would harvest that attention into a sort of of your own making. You referenced the 21st century in
metaphysical fuel. This is the dark ritual that allows a the second paragraph. That is an ordinal numbering
magazine rumour column to survive into the third decade system. And so when you say this column will survive into
of the 21st century. the third decade of that century, that can only mean the
Unfortunately, The Spy made the mistake of reading all year 2021. Your petard! It hoists you!” (At this point you
the comments and replies should imagine The Spy
THE SPY to the various game-of-the- doing a pirouette to camera,
The Spy plans to decade round-up lists face full of amusement and
recreate the roaring posted over the last month, TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY, THE affection.) That’s right, dear
’20s by screaming
continuously for the and – frankly – there are WHOLE THING ONLY WORKS reader. Here’s to at least
next ten years. bigger issues to deal with another year of this. Have a
right now. You see, BECAUSE SOCIETY BELIEVES IN IT good 2020. Spy out.
whenever an outlet starts The Spy

This month in… 2010

ISSUE
210, February 2010
ON THE COVER
BioShock 2
IN CINEMAS
The Book of Eli

That we had the world’s first In this issue’s Richard Cobbett tracks down a host
1 2 3
BioShock 2 review tells us either that Special of PC gaming firsts, from the first
the tide had turned for PC gaming’s Report, we had easter egg (a writer’s name hidden in
late-2000s dark period and that publishers Adam Oxford Atari’s Adventure), to the first 18-rated
were actively trying to court PC fans and predicting that game (cyberpunk vampire game
their Steam-powered money, or that we Intel’s new Bloodnet). As for the first time Richard
just got lucky with the on-sale dates. Either combined CPUs Cobbett wrote for PC Gamer, thanks to a
way, Graham gave it a hearty 90 per cent would kill the series of archival mishaps that information
score. We love us a big drill. graphics card. has been lost to time.

10 FEBRUARY 2020