Page 120 - PC Gamer - UK (February 2020)

DIARY

PERSONAL ADVENTURES IN GAMES

what good are company values if you don’t stick to them?
GRIFT AID I can hear the assistant yelling as I leave, but his voice is
muffled by the door, his face obscured by frosted glass.
The Outer Worlds’ best brands for your consideration He’s a company man; I’m sure he understands.
The lab, when I find it, is under siege. An Auntie Cleo
response team has been dispatched to the scene, but has
stalled in the lobby; the enforcers are now at an impasse
with the terrorists and the raptidons, though it’s debatable
whether the latter even know how to stand, let alone have
a stand-off. I take the side door and begin rummaging
MOCK NANNER LEMON PRE-SLICED CYST Y PIG
APPLE SPANK SL APP BRED TUMORS through papers and terminals, taking anything that
“Real mock “Parents, “Slapp your “It tastes fresh “Falling off the sounds sensitive and sellable.
apple. Real Spank your whole family because it backs of That’s when I happen upon Cassandra O’Malley,
mock taste.” children!” tonight!” was!” cystypigs!” the terrorist leader, locked in an unguarded cell. She’s
here simply because she wanted to know what it’d feel
like to make an anti-establishment choice. How’s your
Once in town I catch up with R&D director Anton freedom taste now, Cass? That’s right: like lizard-
Crane, an Eddie Redmayne type and panicker. The flavoured toothpaste.
terrorists have let the raptidons out of their cages, which It transpires Cassandra has the crucial Crane research
explains the trail of limbs I’ve followed from the ship. It I’m after. She offers to go halves if I clear a route for her
was Crane who put out the distress call that led me here, to make a French exit, but I’m not about to start unlocking
and now regrets it, since his illegal diet toothpaste doors now. Besides, she’s making all these noises about
research is likely to be exposed. “stabbing at the heart of corporate power”.
Crane has been secretly introducing raptidon I don’t much care for Auntie Cleo, but the heart of
digestive acid into the evening meals of randomly selected corporate power is where I want to be. What if
workers and observing the effects. Cassandra’s waiting when I get there?
It’s cheap out-of-hours research, and it’s smart; less so Just enough pellets from Vicar Max’s shotgun make it
the decision to tell me about it. If I can get hold of his past the bars, and Cassandra slumps to the floor. The
work, I can fund my ticket to Byzantium and undermine research I retrieve from her fallen form is undamaged,
a Spacer’s Choice competitor into the bargain. Crane’s and what’s more I get both halves. Cleo’s crack team and
body can be the first counterweight in the lift that takes the remaining terrorists can have each other. The
me up to that 62nd floor. corporation will restore order, and be none the wiser
Under the pretext of help, I have Crane direct me to about the secrets they’ve lost.
his lab, as well as the building where his assistant still On my way out, I happen across the raptidon
cowers, frightened and abandoned. The latter proves to be matriarch Crane specifically warned me was crucial to
a dead end, since the man is trapped in his own office further research. But, as any economist would tell you, his
behind a locked door. Buying more lockpicks would stolen work becomes more valuable to my buyers if it
involve hacking the vending machine downstairs, but can’t be reproduced. And the Spacer’s Choice company
there’s no way I’m circumventing Spacer’s Choice handbook does teach that the natural world is ours to
software. They’re the corporation that got me this far, and conquer. Nice lab lizard you’ve got there. Would be a
shame if something… happened to it.

INTO BYZANTIUM
Back aboard Groundbreaker, I meet with the
station’s secret broker, a kindly old woman named Gladys.
She offers me candy, and I offer her experimental rocket
research. Sure, toothpaste can’t power rockets, but
sometimes a lie fetches a higher price than the truth.
Bedford’s relief spreads through his moustache as I
hand him the Board seal. I’ve saved his hide. He approves
my journey to Byzantium and immediately sends the
authorisation forms through to Sophia Akande, the
adjutant to Chairman Rockwell and the most powerful
woman in Halcyon.

And they all fall down.