Page 66 - Cosmopolitan - USA (February 2020)

a s t r o

flames back around,
i f you’re any- saying that this is the
and it goes without

absolute worst time of
year for that one ex

thing like me
lutely cannot stand
(aka single your partner abso-
to show up.
and toootally fine
So, yeah, if you’re
with it, why do you
boo’d up, this Valen-
ask?!), then this time
tine’s could be a
of year is always a
rough one. Make your
big headache. But
reservations way in
2020 is gonna be
advance, set as many
a little different.
reminders as you can
Because it’s everyone
to pick up those flow-
else’s—as in couples’—
ers, block who needs
turn to freak out,
to be blocked, try to
thanks to some crazy
keep calm, and cross
astro weather.
Let’s just Venus is in Aries, your fingers. You’ll be
pretend none fine…if you’re lucky.
of this is its weakest position,
happening, making commitment Only the
mmkay? sound boring and
arguments more com- toughest single
mon. And since Aries’ will survive,
egocentricity rivals basically.
Leo’s level of self-
centeredness (love
(And now I need to
you, Leos!), compro-
take this moment to
mising with bae will
say that for singles,
be *very* hard. So if
Valentine’s Day might
you’re in a relation-
be...finally kind of
ship that has any
great? All the plane-
~issues~ at all, things
tary action spells a
are just going to get
perfect time for
more volatile.
flings—and some of
There’s more! Mer-
the best sex you’ll ever
cury Retrograde starts
have. So if you’re
on February 16th, but
looking for a little fun,
it will be craaawling calling up an ex or
How survive its way out of its pre- having an exhilarat-
to
shadow phase (the
sometimes equally ing one-night stand is
not a bad idea. In
this year’s V-Day dark period before an fact, it’s a good idea.
actual Retrograde) on
V-Day. Meaning: It And also a little some-
thing called justice.
might feel like all your
astro-pocalypse probs are piling up Happy Valentine’s

out of nowhere in a Day, everyone! *evil
laugh*)
single day.
Skip the greeting-card aisle and
Mercury Retro-
head straight to an underground bunker.
grade is also infa-
AL A MY.
mous for bringing old
B y J A K E R E G I S T E R

58 Cosmopolitan Februar y 2020