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companionship between us. They always treated me as their kid sister and shooed me away. Younger to me were brothers who shunned me for being a girl. As a whenever there was an occasion of euphoria, an unexpected serendipity or some heart rending loss. I think I coped with
result, I was a very lonely child. My only companions were books and only emotional outlet were the poems. My family was religious, I being a very logical person bereavements by becoming someone else. A kind of detachment made me strong enough to deal with unhappy situations.
and a bit of skeptic, I saw through the futility of rituals and fake god men. From the early age I developed a philosophic tendency and spirituality devoid of all Q.C. How and what talent you used in spreading love, peace and humanity ?
religious feelings. I care for fellow human beings. I have seen children being abused. I have seen women being maltreated. I have been a bit of crusader for their
Ans. To make someone feel loved, I think, “touch” is the best therapy. Whenever I found that a morose child, a sad woman or a
cause. Education, job opportunities, equal rights and equal status for women is the cause I live for. Also I want to revolutionize our education system. We must
disheartened man needed to be consoled, I used gentle words while touching him /her with my hand. An affectionate hug makes
develop a system which may enhance children's intelligence and wisdom. An overall personality development plus infusing humanitarian values in kids should
more difference than any amount of soothing words. For “peace” 'sorry' and 'please' are the magic words. In any unpleasant
be of prime importance. Of course a change in the mind set on men is also imperative. Patriarchic society and feministic reactions have to find a balance.
situation logic is not very effective. Heated argument worsens the situation. Once I was driving in a colony. A young man hit my car
Q.A. What makes you to be one among 25 wonderful women of virtue ? on the side, by his bike. I stopped the car to check the damage. An old man came forward and pointing his finger towards me said “ Women do not know
how to drive”. Obviously the elderly person was biased against ladies driving cars and being independent. A small crowd has gathered over there. The
Ans. How and why do I claim to be one among some wonderful women, is a very enigmatic question. I have to be careful that do not appear over confident or
accident was not my fault but I could sense that there was no point in arguing . So I looked at the old man with a smile on my face and said “Sir, the issue is
arrogant. At the same time I should not be too modest to undermine my worth. First of all I would like to claim that I am a fighter. I have always been a
between me and this gentleman. Don't you think he is an adult and intelligent enough to deal with it ?” People around there laughed. The young man
fighter. I was third consecutive girl in series of offspring. Not really welcomed. Then four brothers followed – a preferred and cherished species. So I
smiled and told the old man to relax. Well matter was sorted out amicably. There was no tension.
fought for equality. I fought for my identity. I was no beauty. I faced harsh criticism, cruel taunts and derisive laughter. Yet I was determined to make my
mark. I developed gift of gab. I could out talk any smart alec . I won inter college and inter state debate competitions. As for facial beauty I evolved my gait To spread humanity, we should always remember that whenever someone is in a bad situation, it could have been 'me' or 'us'. We cannot turn our face
and personality. I invented my own style of dressing and behaving. I was unofficial “Miss Femina” (The beauty queen) in my university days. In spite of away from a victim. When we put ourselves in others' shoes, we become perceptive. We can feel others' pain. Only when we have empathy and sensitivity
this I was never arrogant. My friends loved me. Still do. My moral values are my priority. I may forgive any other crime, depending on its circumstances, we can be human in real sense. Selfishness make us less human. Love should never be 'less', it should always be 'more'. Ego and self should always take a
but never a lie. A liar has no excuse except cowardice. So I never lie even if I have to suffer for it. I believe that eventually truth prevails. Another of my back seat while dealing with other human beings. In my opinion love, peace and humanity can be spread by being caring and responsible. Concern,
winning point is that whatever I do I give it my hundred percent. When I could not pursue my academic career I dedicated myself to my family and empathy and sense of duty takes care of all moral values which a human being must cultivate in oneself.
children. Later I took up Real Estate as career and worked like a man without asking for any discount for being a woman. Life was too busy to indulge in Q.D. Do you feel you have a sense of making people happy? If yes, how do you make?
my hobbies. Now in my twilight years I am doing painting and writing – getting my books published. I do not know if these things make me worthy of Ans. I think no one can make all people happy all the time. Sometimes when we make one person or a group of persons happy we make someone else
being included among the wonderful ladies but that's all I can say about myself in full honesty. unhappy. Moreover, while I can say with confidence that I don't make people consciously unhappy. Only thing I can say is that usually people are
Q.B. When did you find sense of depersonalization in you and how ? relaxed and happy to be in my company. The reason for it not far to seek. I know the art of appreciation. I believe that everyone has one or other talent.
Ans. I was in class three. Exams were over. My school organized annual function. My father was the chief guest. Our whole family was invited. We reached There are very wise, intelligent and knowledgeable people who do not hold any degree. Even illiterates have talents. If I can make an introvert open up
late. My father felt bad as he was, otherwise, a very punctual person. We remained at the back. No one noticed us. When awards were announced, my and confide in me I feel I have made him /her a bit happy .Being perceptive goes a long way in making someone happy. Appreciating someone's ability
name was also called out for being the outstanding student in English. It was unexpected. My father held my hand and rushed towards the stage. and talent is a sure shot tool to bring smile on their face. I know in 90 % cases I can do it.
Immediately the principal recognizes him, greeted him profusely and picking me up, handed over the prize to me. I was in a daze. I had never imagined to Q.E. Your personal views in building a perfect human being in you.
get the prize. Suddenly it seemed that I am not the girl who is receiving the prize. As if I am standing at a distance and watching someone Ans. Perfection, frankly, is a myth. Even in nature, there are oddities and imperfection. What I want to say is that we may never become perfect but we can try
called Sudha receiving the prize It was a moment of pride but I was unable to accept it; hence the sense of depersonalization. After that I to be as much good as much is possible. Coming to myself, I would be content if I could be honest with myself. Whatever I do, I should be able to find
got recognition as a bright student and became confident. But at the home scenario was different. I was often taunted for not being 'feel good' factor in me afterwards. The best test is if ever we feel slightest of guilt or a sense of discomfort in our core, rest assure there must be something
pretty. I developed an inferiority complex. This made me an introvert. Next time I felt the sense of depersonalization was at my uncle's which does not agree with our sense of values. My personal ethics is I never hurt anyone, even in joke. I don't think that I or anyone, for that matter, can
wedding. Everyone in the family was dressed up in fineries. Whole horde of baratis were walking towards the bride's house. Despite my be perfect. Perfection means godliness. Spirituality is closer to godliness. I would close with a couple of lines I really like –
pretty frock I did not feel pretty. I did not join them in their fun and frolics. All of a sudden that same sense of depersonalization took
The pain I felt is buried in my heart
hold of me. I felt I was a disembodied person watching other girls( including me) from a distance. In fact I was scared. I didn't know
The way I smile and laugh is an art
who I was. I reached out and held somebody's hand. This feeling stayed for short period only. Similar sense of disembodiment I felt
30 | Dr. K.C. Sethi & Sunita Sethi 25 Wonderful Women of Virtue | 31

