Page 149 - PINE CREST 2000

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Upon mentioning to my peers
that I am a member of the varsity golf
team, reactions among them have
ranged from disbelief to sheer laugh­
ter. Unfortunately the disbelief is not
Below: RJ Scott pauses for that of surprise towards the fact that I.
a moment of meditation on a five-foot-nothing, one hundred pound
the green. kid, am on a varsity team, but rather one
of surprise that there is actually a golf
team.
Right: The boys enjoy
Questions along the lines of,
some team bonding. “Isn’t golf a sport for me exclusively
over seventy?” and “Is golf even a
sport?” usually arise after their rather disheartening reac­
tions. Well folks, not too many seventy-year-old men can
haul a green bag with fourteen clubs in it for 3500 yards,
and yes, we do break sweats. Most humans, besides curly-
haired Canadians, would probably break an immenese
sweat if they had to haul a bag 3500 yards in the florida
sun.
Some even hypothesize that golf is actually a dif­
ficult sport. They state that it’s not easy to hit a tiny ball to
a twenty-yard target area while swinging one hundred miles
per hour at it. In addition, in this wimpy sport, there’s no
blaming your stinky performance on someone else. That’s
right; if Harry Hacker goes out and shoots fifty-five, he’s
just plain terrible. Harry can’t blame his horrendous show­
ing on that lousy offensive line or on a lousy call from the
officials; in fact, he can’t even blame it on that lousy putter
that’s snapped in two or on an obnoxious crybaby he played
with in the last tournament whose last name rhymes with
Rickey.
In a nutshell, the pressure is immense. If Harry
shoots a bad score, he will not be wearing that cool green
flowered Pine Crest shirt on the next game day; instead,
his name will be on the good old annoying exhibition list
for the next match. An even worse scenario occurs when
Mr. Hacker playes ambarrassingly lousy and a thrid of the
team plays even worse that him putting his beautifully high
number in the next day’s Sun-Sentinel.
Despite all of these difficult obstacles, boys golf is
still pretty cool. Our practice routine includes getting in
your car, going to the golf course, hitting golf balls, get­
ting back in your car, and going home. We don’t even wake up in the morning sore from practice! In fact, some
shrewd players don’t even go to golf practice at all; they simply show up at matches. I’d like to see Coach
Flynn’s reaction to a player requesting never to go to football practice but wanting to be the starting quarter­
back in every single game.
Thinking along the lines of football, a true golfer can never forget to write about the physical strength
of his fellow team members. We’re buff and proud of it. Behind those men’s medium polo shirts is a body
defined with large pectoralis muscles that develop from hauling those green bags around, and right by the end
of the sleevs of those interesting polo shirts are forearms the size of a sprinter’s calves. With our large muscu­
lar physique, we are thus able to slap those balls a long way and smash other teams into the ground. We get
riled up; we have our little pep rallies on our way to matches as Coach Tinsley is flooring it at forty on our
“perfectly clean” yellow bus.
Unlike some other sports teams this year, the golf team actually has been having a winning season and
has a pretty good shot at sending the entire or at least part of the team to the state tournament. Golfers are cool,
buff, and bold. Who else besides a varsity golf player would have the guts to wear those green flower shirts
with a school name on them?
by Brad Gross