Page 35 - FunAsiA DesiPages Digital June 2020

THE BIG BROWN BAG PAGE #2

had bought food at the airport. He took that out to eat with his drinks. It made me smile as he
took out his sandwich from a brown bag.

Finally, the flight landed. I had already informed my parents not to come to the airport, since
the whole family from different cities and countries were in our Kolkata home. They needed
to attend to them.

I knew my ways around Kolkata. After all I had lived here for 25 years. I felt many eyes on
me when I stepped out of the cab. This is what is unique about being glued to just one place
all your life. Everyone knows you.I was trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, as I did not
know how to react. I was confused whether, I should greet them with a smile or have a long
face since my grandma was no more. I chose to head straight to the 3rd floor.

I walked into a packed home. Ma mattered a lot to everyone. My two other uncles had moved
out of the Kolkata home with their families to different cities many years ago. But everyone
had memories of this house and were probably gathering their own last ones around her.
Ma had touched a lot of lives including mine. She had led a long healthy life. So more than
mourning it was a reunion of the family to remember her fondly, and pay their last respects.
Therefore, the cremation was also delayed and was scheduled for tomorrow.

It was 11:00 pm. Most of the family members had either left to wherever their stay-in was
arranged, or were settling down in different rooms in this nostalgic home. I took my mom by
her elbow, who was clearing up the last dishes, to the corner and whispered, “Where is the
brown Bag?”

“You want to see it now?” I nodded.
“Let me get it out from the cupboard. You could have seen it tomorrow; it is so late and you
look so tired. Are you ok?”

“Yes Mama, I am fine. I want to see it today and tomorrow we will get busy with the cremation”
I said desperately.

I closed the room behind her after my mom handed me the brown bag. I put it down on the
bed in front of me and sat next to it. My heart was pounding. It was the same feeling that I had
20 years back when I was sneaking into my Grandmother’s almirah to see what was inside. I
was having an adrenaline rush. Like something was throbbing between my legs. I still feared
of being caught.
May be the jet lag was making me tired and act weird. I slowly opened the bag. There was
another brown bag inside, but on top of it there was a white envelope with my name written
on it. I took out the envelope and opened it. It was a letter she had written to me.

Dear Aanya

You will find this letter after I am gone. I know you must be surprised that I left
you this brown bag that you made innumerable attempts to locate throughout your
childhood. I fail to even remember the number of times I caught you. Then you got
married and left our home and became a fine grown up responsible girl.

You were one sneaky little fella though! I always felt that you should respect other
people’s secrets, and you continued to invade in my privacy which made me angry.
I scolded you, pushed you away, punished you but you would not stop. I am also
aware how much my scolding saddened you and made you cry. But my child, I

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