Page 238 - SHERLOCK transcripts

237

SHERLOCK: One what?
JOHN: Tabloid nickname: ‘SuBo’; ‘Nasty Nick.’ Shouldn’t worry – I’ll probably get one soon.
SHERLOCK: Page five, column six, first sentence.
(John turns to the relevant page. Sherlock goes over to the fireplace, picks up the deerstalker,
holds it up and punches it angrily.)
SHERLOCK: Why is it always the hat photograph?
JOHN (looking at the newspaper article): “Bachelor John Watson”?
SHERLOCK: What sort of hat is it anyway?
JOHN: “Bachelor”? What the hell are they implying?
SHERLOCK (holding up the hat and twisting it back and forth rapidly): Is it a cap? Why has it
got two fronts?
JOHN (glancing up briefly): It’s a deerstalker. (He reads more of the article.) “Frequently seen
in the company of bachelor John Watson ...”
SHERLOCK: You stalk a deer with a hat? What are you gonna do – throw it?
JOHN (looking at another part of the article): “... confirmed bachelor John Watson”!
SHERLOCK: Some sort of death frisbee?
JOHN: Okay, this is too much. We need to be more careful.
SHERLOCK: It’s got flaps ... ear flaps. It’s an ear hat, John.
(He accurately skims the hat across the room to John, who doesn’t have to do more than bend
his wrist to catch it.)
SHERLOCK: What do you mean, “more careful”?
JOHN: I mean this isn’t a deerstalker now; it’s a Sherlock Holmes hat. I mean that you’re not
exactly a private detective any more. (He holds his thumb and forefinger an inch apart.) You’re
this far from famous.
SHERLOCK: Oh, it’ll pass.
(He slumps down into his armchair and folds his hands in the prayer position in front of his
mouth.)
JOHN: It’d better pass. The press will turn, Sherlock. They always turn, and they’ll turn on you.
(Sherlock lowers his hands and looks more closely at John.)
SHERLOCK: It really bothers you.
JOHN: What?
SHERLOCK: What people say.
JOHN: Yes.
SHERLOCK: About me? I don’t understand – why would it upset you?
(John holds his gaze for a moment, then looks away.)
JOHN: Just try to keep a low profile. Find yourself a little case this week. Stay out of the news.

TOWER OF LONDON 11:00
Tourists are walking about in the grounds, looking around, talking to the Beefeaters, taking
photographs. One tourist wearing jeans, trainers, a light grey jacket and a cap with “London”
printed on it and with a union flag on the peak is aiming his camera phone around and taking
pictures like all the others, but this person appears to be more interested in the security staff
than anything else. The other thing that piques his interest is the sign pointing the way to the
Crown Jewels. He lowers his camera, chewing nonchalantly on a piece of gum, and we see that
this is none other than Jim Moriarty.

At 221B, a phone in the living room trills a text alert. Sherlock is sitting at the table in the
kitchen, looking into his microscope. John comes along the corridor leading from Sherlock’s
bedroom [your transcriber is saying nothing, but just look at the height of her raised eyebrows
...] with wet hair, wearing a bathrobe and rubbing the back of his neck with a towel.
JOHN: It’s your phone.
SHERLOCK (disinterestedly): Mm. Keeps doing that.
(John walks into the living room, goes past the body in a suit which is hanging by its neck from
the ceiling, sits down in his chair and picks up a newspaper. The body sways gently in the
breeze.)
JOHN: So, did you just talk to him for a really long time?
(Sherlock looks up and glances across to the body. We realise that it’s not a real person but a
mannequin.)
SHERLOCK: Oh. Henry Fishgard never committed suicide.
(He picks up an old hardback book from the table and slams it shut in a flurry of dust before
going back to his microscope.)

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)