Page 243 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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puts what she has found in his pocket – a piece of chewing gum – onto his tongue and he draws
his tongue back in and begins to chew, smiling at her creepily.)
JIM: Thanks.

Sherlock is in the toilets at the Old Bailey washing his hands.
TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT: Crown versus Moriarty – please proceed to Court Ten.
(As he turns off the taps, a woman standing behind him and wearing a deerstalker hat stares at
him in awestruck amazement. Her bag slips out of her fingers and drops to the floor.)
KITTY: You’re him.
(Sherlock sees that she’s also wearing an “I (heart) Sherlock” badge on her jacket.)
SHERLOCK: Wrong toilet.
KITTY: I’m a big fan.
SHERLOCK (turning towards her): Evidently.
KITTY: I read your cases; follow them all. (She steps closer, gazing at him adoringly.) Sign my
shirt, would you?
(She peels back her jacket to reveal that her blouse is opened quite low and she is showing a
lot of cleavage. She offers him a pen which she already has in her hand.)
SHERLOCK: There are two types of fans.
KITTY: Oh?
SHERLOCK: “Catch me before I kill again” – Type A ...
KITTY: Uh-huh. What’s Type B?
SHERLOCK: “Your bedroom’s just a taxi ride away.”
(Kitty grins, her eyes still locked on his.)
KITTY: Guess which one I am.
(Sherlock runs his eyes down her body [and other fans vow to kill her at the first possible
chance] and does a speed deduction:

pressure marks
pocket
ink

SHERLOCK: Neither.
KITTY (blinking a little nervously): Really?
SHERLOCK: No. You’re not a fan at all.
(He looks at the indentations in her skin just below her right wrist.)
SHERLOCK: Those marks on your forearm: edge of a desk. You’ve been typing in a hurry,
probably. Pressure on; facing a deadline.
KITTY (looking away): That all?
SHERLOCK: And there’s a smudge of ink on your wrist; and a bulge in your left jacket pocket.
(He and Kitty look down to her pocket from which is protruding the edge of a dictaphone, which
has a red light shining on it showing that it’s recording.)
KITTY: Bit of a giveaway.
SHERLOCK: The smudge is deliberate, to see if I’m as good as they say I am.
(He lifts her hand and sniffs the ink on her wrist.)
SHERLOCK: Hmm. Oil-based, used in newspaper print, but drawn on with an index finger; your
finger.
KITTY: Hmm!
SHERLOCK: Journalist. Unlikely you’d get your hands dirty at the press. You put that there to
test me.
KITTY: Wow, I’m liking you!
SHERLOCK: You mean I’d make a great feature: “Sherlock Holmes – the man beneath the hat.”
KITTY: Kitty ... (she takes off the hat) ... Riley. Pleased to meet you.
(She offers her hand for him to shake.)
SHERLOCK: No. I’m just saving you the trouble of asking. No, I won’t give you an interview; no,
I don’t want the money.
(Pushing past her, he heads for the door. She chases after him.)
KITTY: You and John Watson – just platonic? Can I put you down for a “no” there, as well?
(She stops him from opening the door and gets in his way, stepping well into his personal
space. He breathes loudly and angrily.)
KITTY: There’s all sorts of gossip in the press about you. Sooner or later you’re gonna need
someone on your side ...

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)