Page 363 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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SHERLOCK (in the Chamber): The Mayfly Man.

The champagne glass continues downwards.

SHERLOCK (in the Chamber): The Mayfly Man is ...

SHERLOCK (at the reception): ... here today.
(His champagne glass smashes on the floor at his feet. He looks down at it.)
SHERLOCK (raising his head): Ooh, sorry. I ...
(He looks down at the floor, making an exasperated noise and clearing his throat. The Master of
Ceremonies/Head Waiter hurries over to him.)
MASTER OF CEREMONIES: Another glass, sir?
SHERLOCK (taking the glass from him): Thank you, yes. Thank you, yes.
(He looks out at the guests.)
MYCROFT (in the Council Chamber): Something is going to happen – right here.
(At the reception, Sherlock looks around, clearly thinking frantically. He flickers back and forth
between the Chamber and the reception but then looks at the guests.)
SHERLOCK: Now, where were we?
MYCROFT (in the Council Chamber): Could be any second.
(Holding their glasses in the reception room, Mrs Hudson and Greg look a little anxious. Greg
looks at Mrs H and frowns.)
MYCROFT (in the Council Chamber): You have control of the room.
SHERLOCK (shaking his head a little in the reception room): Ah, yes. Raising glasses and
standing up. Very good. Thank you.
MYCROFT (sternly, in the Council Chamber): Don’t lose it.
(At the reception, Sherlock raises both hands and gestures downwards.)
SHERLOCK: And down again.
(Confused, the guests start to sit down, murmuring amongst themselves. Sherlock looks at
them for a moment, then puts his glass down on the table and straightens up.)
SHERLOCK: Ladies and gentlemen, people tell you not to milk a good speech – get off early,
leave ’em laughing. Wise advice I’ll certainly try to bear in mind. But for now ...
(He puts one hand on the table and quickly jumps over to the other side. The guests gasp in
surprise.)
SHERLOCK: ... part two.
(He walks into the central aisle between the tables.)
SHERLOCK: Part two is more action-based. I’m gonna ... walk around, shake things up a bit.
(He looks at each person as he walks past, mentally tagging each of the men with a sign near
them reading, “MAYFLY MAN?” The only male guest who doesn’t get a tag is young Archie.)
SHERLOCK: Who’d go to a wedding? That’s the question. Who would bother to go to any
lengths to get themselves to a wedding?
(Two thirds of the way along the room he turns around.)
SHERLOCK: Well, everyone.
(He claps his hands once.)
SHERLOCK: Weddings are great! Love a wedding.
MARY (quietly, to John): What’s he doing?
JOHN (watching his friend with concern): Something’s wrong.
SHERLOCK (pointing towards him as he heads back along the room): And John’s great, too!
Haven’t said that enough. Barely scratched the surface. I could go on all night about the depth
and complexity of his ... jumpers ...
(John closes his eyes in disbelief. Out on the floor Sherlock is pacing and turning back and forth,
peering at each of the male guests and their imaginary tags.)
SHERLOCK: ... and he can cook. Does ... a ... thing ... thing with peas ...
(John and Mary exchange a puzzled glance. Sherlock continues to pace and look closely at the
guests.)
SHERLOCK: ... once. Might not be peas. Might not be him. But he’s got a great singing voice ...
or somebody does.
(He sighs in frustration, his teeth clenched.)
SHERLOCK: Ahh, too many, too many, too many, too many!
(He grimaces angrily, the “MAYFLY MAN?” tags now huge and overwhelming him. He stops and
takes a breath and the tags disappear.)

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)