Page 365 - SHERLOCK transcripts

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MYCROFT (in the Council Chamber): Narrow it down.
(Sherlock blinks in the reception room, lowering his head and screwing his eyes shut again.)
MYCROFT (in the Council Chamber): Narrow. It. Down.
(Standing in front of him in the Chamber, Sherlock roars loudly with frustration and rage and
slaps himself hard on the right cheek. In the reception room, he does the same.)
SHERLOCK (loudly, angrily): No!
(In both worlds, he slaps his left cheek.)
SHERLOCK: (loudly, angrily, in the reception room): No!
(The tags disappear from above the men’s heads. Sherlock angrily points upwards with the
index fingers of both hands.)
SHERLOCK: Not you! Not you!
(His mental image of Mycroft doubles, then floats away. Sherlock calms down and lowers his
hands a little to point his fingers towards the top table.)
SHERLOCK (quieter): You.
(John straightens again, looking back at him.)
SHERLOCK (walking towards him, now pointing at him with just one hand): It’s always you.
John Watson, you keep me right.
(John stands as he walks up to the table.)
JOHN: What do I do?
SHERLOCK: Well, you’ve already done it. Don’t solve the murder. (Intensely) Save the life.
(Drawing in a sharp breath through his nose, he turns towards the guests again with a manic
grin on his face.)
SHERLOCK: Sorry. Off-piste a bit. Back now. (High-pitched) Phew!
(He claps his hands together and looks down at the floor, dropping the smile.)
SHERLOCK: Let’s play a game.
(He raises his eyes while lowering his head a little more, staring intensely out into the room.)
SHERLOCK: Let’s play Murder.
(Behind him, John sits down again. Sherlock prowls forward, his eyes flickering around the room
at the guests.)
MRS HUDSON (disapprovingly): Sherlock.
SHERLOCK (steepling his hands in front of his chin as he progresses forward): Imagine
someone’s going to get murdered at a wedding. Who exactly would you pick?
MRS HUDSON: I think you’re a popular choice at the moment, dear.
SHERLOCK (gesturing behind him): If someone could move Mrs Hudson’s glass just slightly out
of reach, that would be lovely. More importantly, who could you only kill at a wedding?
(He turns back to look at the guests and gives each one – both the men and the women – a
new tag reading, “TARGET?” A line leads from each tag down to the relevant person and at the
end of that line a small white bullseye overlays their body.)
SHERLOCK: Most people you can kill any old place. As a mental exercise, I’ve often planned the
murder of friends and colleagues.
(Rubbing his hands together in an Evil Genius sort of way, he walks back along the room, then
gestures towards John.)
SHERLOCK: Now John I’d poison.
(Mary nervously looks across to her husband.)
SHERLOCK: Sloppy eater – dead easy. I’ve given him chemicals and compounds – that way,
he’s never even noticed. He missed a whole Wednesday once, didn’t have a clue. Lestrade’s so
easy to kill, it’s a miracle no-one’s succumbed to the temptation. (He turns and heads towards
the back of the room again.) I’ve got a pair of keys to my brother’s house – I could easily break
in there and asphyxiate him.
(He makes strangly gestures with his hands, then seems to realise that he may have gone too
far.)
SHERLOCK: ... if, if the whim arose.
TOM (quietly to Molly): He’s pissed, isn’t he?
(Without even looking round at him, Molly stabs a plastic fork onto the back of his hand.)
TOM (grabbing at his hand): Ow!
SHERLOCK: So, once again, who could you only kill here?
(He turns and faces the guests again. A few of the chairs nearest him are now suddenly empty
but still have their “TARGET?” tag pointing to the seats. He twirls his fingers and the tags
disappear.)
SHERLOCK: Clearly it’s a rare opportunity, so it’s someone who doesn’t get out much.
(The camera angle changes and more guests – and their tags – have vanished.)

Transcripts by Ariane DeVere (arianedevere@livejournal.com)