Page 84 - Cosmopolitan India (January 2020)
P. 84

love & lust



          LET’S                                             acceptability of an ever-


                                                            widening sexuality spectrum,
                                                            says US-based Jane Ward,
          TALK                                              PhD, an associate professor
                                                            of gender and sexuality
                                                            studies at the University of
          ABOUT                                             California, Riverside. What
                                                            might have shocked us a few
                                                            years ago no longer does.
                                                            These days, when I hear of
          SEXUAL                                            a woman who has changed
                                                            sexual preferences, I think,
                                                            ‘Well...she’s just like me’.
          FLUIDITY                                          SWITCHING SIDES


                                                            For most of my life, I
                                                            considered myself straight.
                                                            I crushed on boys in school,
          It seems like more people—a slew of               loved Channing Tatum,
          celebs, some of your friends—are no               and flirted with men at

          longer strictly hetero or strictly not.           bars. I always assumed my
                                                            dating life would limp along
          Katie Heaney explores the increase                until I found the right guy.
          in elastic attraction.                            Now and again, though, I’d
                                                            wonder if my interest
                                                            in women went beyond the
                     ex has never   authors Elizabeth Gilbert   average straight girl’s.
                     been simple.   and Glennon Doyle Melton   By 28, I was ready to
                     But lately,   (who had previously been   find out. I created a lesbian
         “Swe’ve been              married to men) announced   dating profile and started
          flooded with examples of   they were dating women.    swiping. Within a span
          just how nuanced it can be.   Look around and you   of three weeks, I met the
          A text I received from my   may realise that a growing   woman who’s now my
          friend Chiara framed the   number of your pals—who   girlfriend, and came out as
          shift: ‘It kinda now seems   once had serious BFs—are   ‘gay, I think’. The idea that I   than men, research suggests.
          like everyone is gay...or at   now in relationships with   was gay all along doesn’t   Evolutionarily speaking,
          least a little.’         women, too. And although   quite line up with the   this may have helped them
           The high-profile        it seems to happen less   genuine flutters I’d get when   raise kids or reduce tension
          examples? Kristen Stewart   frequently, some men—  I liked a boy. Yet I wouldn’t   with other females in
          and Cara Delevingne      like Younger actor Nico   call myself bisexual, either.  polygynous (multiple wives,
          publicly admitted they   Tortorella—have admitted   That grey area is where   one husband) relationships,
          were in love with their   to dating guys and girls.  the concept of sexual fluidity   although some experts argue
          girlfriends (now exes); Parks   Such sexual fluidity—  stems from. Attractions   it could more likely be due
          and Rec star Aubrey Plaza,   being attracted to whomever,   can swing back and forth—  to social and cultural factors.
          Brooklyn Nine-Nine actress   regardless of gender—is   sometimes once or twice   Whatever the genesis,
          Stephanie Beatriz, and It   rising in popularity, partly   in a lifetime, other times   fluidity is common: in
          Girl Bella Thorne all came   because those outspoken   more frequently. Women   a study that spanned from
          out as bisexual; best-selling   celebs have increased the   are more likely to vacillate   1995 to 2005, more than

            IDENTITY       Some people don’t want to be   an American suicide-prevention non   Gay
                           defined by a sexuality or gender
                                                          profit for LGBTQ+ youth, shares
                                                                                          Anyone who is attracted
          GLOSSARY         label, while others appreciate   these definitions. Keep in mind,   to their same sex or
                                                          though, that each person identifies
                           the validation of a name. Either
                           way, you should know the most   with these differently, says Ashby   gender. Some women
                                                                                          prefer to use the
                           common terms. The Trevor Project,   Dodge, the group’s Clinical Director.  term ‘lesbian’.
          82   COSMOPOLITAN JANUARY 2020        FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN
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